


Orientation

by ImperfectOrphanage



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9168637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectOrphanage/pseuds/ImperfectOrphanage
Summary: Ascension to the throne was never supposed to be easy.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One - Birth

 

The Room of Reckoning was cold and empty. All of the details that had been put in place by the previous Composer were gone. The ground was black and flat. There were no walls and the throne had disappeared. Looking up, there wasn’t even a ceiling.

Joshua lay on his back. He could barely move with the screaming of music dancing through every fiber of muscle and bone. His heart was slow in beating and he often forgot to breathe until the ache in his chest was too much. It was twenty times worse than his suicide.

“Hey, kiddo, stay with me.”

He recognized the voice. It was the barista he had trusted his secrets to. The man he saw as a second father and a mentor throughout his Game. Joshua managed to roll his eyes to the side to look up at the crouching man.

“S-sanae…” he gasped. It hurt. It hurt so much.

Hanekoma smiled but it was bittersweet. He traced a finger over Joshua’s forehead to move the hair out of his eyes. “Just breathe. It’ll pass soon enough.”

He whimpered. “I can feel Shibuya in my veins. It’s burning me inside out. Sanae, make it stop, _please._ It hurts so much. I can’t…I can’t take it…”

A cool hand rested on his forehead. Hanekoma sat down next to him and gently stroked his face and hair. He said nothing as he parted Joshua’s shirt and slid the fabric to either side.

“What-“ Joshua whispered, but there was a chill in the air and it felt good against his fevered skin.

“Kiddo, I’ve been through this a few times. I know it hurts like hell,” Hanekoma said, “but y’can take it if ya took on the Composer.”

Joshua shivered. “Am I falling apart? It feels as if my skin is splitting. I can’t feel my hands. Sanae, I’m afraid.”

“It’s almost over,” Hanekoma whispered. He stroked a hand over Joshua’s chest.

It felt like fire where his fingertips touched. Joshua managed to hold his arms up and the sight of his fading hands made his heart race. He began to breathe rapidly enough to make his head feel fuzzy and though he could hear Hanekoma trying to soothe him, the pain shot past eleven and he screamed in agony.

The room filled with light. Joshua felt his skin peel back and his bones crunch together. He was certain the sudden rush of heat was his blood spilling out, and he continued to scream until his voice grew hoarse and he arched into the air.

It was over. The pain subsided. Joshua opened his eyes.

His body had changed.

“What…what is this?” He held his hands up again and saw sparks of light. There was an outline of fingers glowing with energy and the music danced softly against his skin. He could see music in the air and without a thought he reached up to touch it.

A small, round shape fell onto his chest and it squirmed.

“Oops,” Hanekoma said, and scooped it up. The bundle was fuzzy and it squeaked when Hanekoma held it in his hands. “Congrats, Boss, you just made yer first Noise.”

Joshua rolled onto his side. He managed to sit up halfway. “What?”

The creature peeked over Hanekoma’s fingers. It had beady little eyes and dark fur. A pair of tiny wings flapped behind and it’s small hands and feet were sharp lines of graffiti.

“I don’t understand,” Joshua groaned. The pain was beginning to turn into a dull throb but he was weak and shaking from the ordeal. “I made that? I thought you needed a pin?”

“Composers don’t need a pin,” Hanekoma explained. He set the Noise down.

Joshua could tell it was a tiny hedgehog. It looked up at him and squeaked. He reached out with glowing hands and pulled it up to eye level. “Hello, there.”

“Don’t name it, you’ll get attached.”

He smiled. “Oh, Sanae. I should keep him. He is my first, after all.”

The barista shrugged. “Whatever y’say, Boss.”

“What am I to do now?” He let the hedgehog snuggle into his lap. A long gown was covering his body but it was wispy and light. “I suppose I should have thought this through.”

Hanekoma rose from the ground. He offered his hand but Joshua waved it off.

“I’m not ready to stand, thank you. I can hear Shibuya’s voice.” Joshua closed his eyes. “She wants to know the Rules. What does that mean?”

“After ascension to the throne of Shibuya, the Composer must set new rules for the Game.”

“New rules,” Joshua breathed. “I quite like the ones we have. However, there are a few tweaks to be made. I don’t think it’s fair to have Players chased by Harriers all week. The first day should be simple. Afterwards, they should only be allowed to summon Noise to chase the Players. On the seventh day, I will allow a direct attack.”

He paused, touched his throat, and blinked. “Where did that come from?”

“Yer soul knows what y’what.” Hanekoma stuffed his hands in his pockets and wandered around the room with the clack clack of his sandals.

Joshua frowned. “I want the shops and restaurants to be open for the entire Game. I didn’t like the idea that we were only given a few minutes to eat and no chance of picking out clothes we want. Finding random care packages around the city was just strange. I want more pins, Sanae. I want more creativity for the Players to fight. Not all of us were able to use pins. If it hadn’t been for my psychic ability we would have been Erased immediately.”

Hanekoma hummed. “That’s a tall order, Boss, but I’ve got a few designs.”

“Do I have to?” Joshua said aloud. He could hear Shibuya asking him for his election of Reapers. “Megumi…I knocked him unconscious. Is he alright?”

“Yep. He’s still in the Pad,” Hanekoma said. He offered his hand once more.

Joshua took it. He nudged the hedgehog from his lap.

The Noise wandered around the room for a bit before sitting down to watch Joshua.

“Do I get to design this place?” He cast his gaze over the empty room.

“Not only that,” Hanekoma kept a hand on Joshua’s shoulders, “y’get to design the Pad, the River, and yer own apartment.”

Joshua walked away from Hanekoma. He stared at the floor and tried to imagine what sort of throne he would want to sit on. “I have an apartment? What for?”

“Y’didn’t think y’lived in the sewer, did ya?” Hanekoma laughed. “Hell, kid.”

“It does feel like Hell,” he said under his breath. He swept his hand through the air and watched as three stone slabs grew from the ground to form a throne. It had bits of Sanae’s graffiti on it, and the seat was smooth and hard. Joshua didn’t want to sit in it. He only wanted it to look intimidating.

Instead of asking what was next, he glided over the floor and into the portal leading to the Pad.

The room was similarly empty. The only thing in the room was a crumpled Conductor.

Joshua knelt down and touched the man on the crown of his head.

He woke up. His dark eyes scanned the room. “Lord Composer?”

“I am your Composer now,” Joshua said, “are you alright with it?”

Megumi removed his sunglasses, rubbed at his eyes, and tilted his head toward Joshua. “Yes, Lord Composer. I will do what you ask.”

“I trust you will find me a few candidates for Game Masters.”

The man nodded once. “Yes, Lord Composer.”

“And stop calling me that,” Joshua hissed. He turned away and crossed the room. The air shifted and he felt Megumi’s energy disappear from the room. “What to do…”

Hanekoma was behind him. He could feel the warmth from his angelic energy.

The room lit up. Joshua imagined a soft, white couch. An oddly shaped table he had seen in one of the magazines in the hospital. Across from the couch he imagined a television and a series of books on a shelf. He glanced over his shoulder and a jukebox popped into view. Though he was still quite young, Joshua smiled as a bar faded into existence and behind was a wall of expensive liquor.

“What the hell, kid?”

Joshua giggled. “It looks grown up, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Hanekoma leaned against the bar. “Shit. This is the good stuff.”

“I saw it in an advertisement. I liked the way the light fell through the bottles.”

Hanekoma shrugged. “Whatever. It’s your room.”

The hedgehog had followed them. It was scurrying over the shiny floor and Joshua remembered a picture he’d seen on the internet. A smooth, glass floor stretched beneath them. It filled with water and colored light, and a series of fish swam through the water to tease the hedgehog above.

“Now,” Joshua coughed, “what is this about an apartment?”

The barista smiled. “I’ll take ya home. Once y’get a bit more acclimated, I’ll bring the paperwork.”

“Paperwork.”

“Yep.”

“I hate paperwork,” Joshua grumbled. “Can’t you do it?”

“Unfortunately, no. However, it’ll be the most paperwork you’ll do through yer tenure as Composer.”

Joshua sighed. He felt Hanekoma’s hand slide over his shoulder and the room tilted as they traveled through the music of Shibuya and reappeared in a stark white room.

“Oh, dear.” He glanced to the left. It was obviously a living space with a short hallway off to the side. He looked to the right to see a kitchen with stainless steel appliances and a couple doors.

The one thing Joshua was drawn to, was directly across from them. It was a balcony with glass paneled doors and a view of the sky. He slowly walked toward the doors and placed his hands on the glass.

“It’s beautiful.”

Hanekoma stood behind him. “Yeah, she is.”

“Sanae,” Joshua closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the cool glass, “I’m tired.”

“I’ll leave ya to rest. Tonight I’ll bring ya some dinner and the paperwork. Y’don’t have ta do it now.”

Joshua said nothing. He felt the angel’s energy fade and it left him alone and cold.

The rooms were empty and white. He had never had such space to decorate but there had been so many magazines about architecture and home design in the hospitals. Once again, he chose a white sofa. There was something about white suede couches that he loved. The floor was wood and a colorful rug stretched out from beneath the couch and a small armchair. He formed a coffee table and two end tables. There was a lamp in the corner, a stack of music on a wooden shelf, and a series of books in the empty corner next to the door. Joshua grinned as he felt energized.

In the kitchen he filled the cabinets with delicious food and fancy dishes and glasses. He filled the fridge with healthy foods. He plucked an apple from a shelf in the fridge and bit into it.

Oh.

It was a paradise on his tongue. He moaned and took another bite.

“Dear God,” he whispered.

Though he hadn’t had sex, he was sure this was what it felt like. An explosion of pleasure and comforting exhaustion. He wandered into the bedroom and leaned against the wall. The carpet he imagined was fluffy and brown, and the bed was large and tall. He put a small step next to the bed and crawled onto it.

The sheets were chocolate silk. He lay on top and continued to eat his apple. Once it was finished his fingers twirled through the air and the core disappeared. He licked his fingers clean and stared at the glowing digits as he turned his wrist.

The music of Shibuya whispered into his ear and he closed his eyes.

She sang to him. He felt his body relax, and with a gentle pop, he felt human again.

Joshua blinked his eyes open and found his body was no longer glowing. It was naked, and what dirt and sweat he had been covered in from the Game and after was gone. His skin was flawless and pale. He held a leg up and smiled at his perfectly polished toenails.

A thought tickled through his mind and he stared at his boyhood.

The air around it shivered and he gasped as it disappeared. His chest swelled and he reached up to touch his newly formed breasts.

He felt comfortable in his body. Joshua had never outright hated being a male, but he had always enjoyed dressing in female clothes. It made him feel normal, and now, he felt even more so.

“What an unexpected turn of events,” he said to no one.

The silk sheets felt heavenly against his skin and he squealed as he rolled over the bed, gathering the sheets to curl around his body. He had never been happier than he was now.

At least, not since his mother passed away.

He stared up at the vaulted ceiling and imagined stars hanging above. They glittered and twinkled in a myriad of colors.

It was the last thing he remembered before falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two – Permanence

 

The apartment was quiet when Joshua came to. His head felt heavy and his body still ached from the pain of becoming Composer. He tried to sit up, but a whirl of vertigo hit and he fell back against the pillows and blankets.

His hands slid over the silk before sliding up his stomach and breasts. Aside from being exhausted his body felt right. He managed to roll onto his side and his eyes caught on a smartphone on the sheets. Joshua didn’t have a smartphone. The only phone he’d had was an orange flip phone for text messaging and calls. He’d never been big on social media or apps.

The phone was black. On the back, he’d expected a familiar logo but instead it had a white symbol. It looked like a player pin, and when he turned the phone on to the home screen, the wallpaper was the same image. The bar at the top said “UGNet” and the signal was full. There wasn’t a battery icon, and the thought that it would stay constantly charged was ridiculous. He slid his finger over the screen.

There were a handful of apps he recognized such as the internet and email. A camera on the front and back and a series of pictures in the camera roll. He flicked to another screen and saw a collection of apps he’d never heard of.

UG&Me, UGNN, GameInfo, HPContact, and a few others. Joshua was too tired to investigate the ones he didn’t know. He clicked on email and the screen filled with messages.

The top one said, “Good morning, Composer.”

Joshua squinted. It was from Megumi.

A series of emails grouped under the Conductor’s name and it became evident to Joshua he’d been sleeping for several days. He scanned through and saw an email from Sanae.

“Hey, kiddo, paperwork’s on the counter,” it read, “take a glance at the booklet first.”

Joshua groaned. He really didn’t want to get out of the bed.

Tossing the phone back down he waited until it fell asleep before pushing up into a sit. The room swirled but after a few seconds he felt less dizzy. He slid from the bed and stumbled a bit, but managed not to fall. The kitchen was lit up and a bar of light stretched out from under the bedroom door.

Joshua grumbled as he pulled the door open to be assaulted by brightness. Just as Sanae had said, there was a stack of paperwork six inches tall and a series of booklets in a basket.

He wobbled toward the counter. The first booklet made him snort.

“Welcome to Composerhood,” the title read.

Behind the first was one titled, “Rules and Regulations”.

“Read the first,” Joshua said. He picked it up and flipped to the introduction page.

“Welcome to Composerhood. In this booklet you will find a multitude of information about your new position as Lord Composer of the Underground.”

He flipped the page to the first chapter.

“Manipulating Music – The first thing a Composer must learn is how to manipulate the music in the air around them. You are most likely reading this chapter either in your true form, or naked in your RG form. Have you tried to form clothes? If not, read on.”

Joshua felt silly. He was a demi-god. He had so much potential and power at his disposal. Why on Earth would he need to learn how to use it from a booklet with clip art?

“Form Control – If you are reading this in your true form, simply close your eyes and picture your RG form to return to it. Further on in this booklet we will discuss choosing a form, but for now, keep it simple.”

Joshua glanced down at his breasts.

“Clothes – Much like shifting your form, the clothes you wear are made from the fabric of your specific region’s music. To keep it simple, try dressing in the last outfit you wore. For more advanced training, try dressing in a complicated outfit you might have seen in the past. We do not recommend trying to create your own outfits from imagination, as the hold on your music is weak within the first month.”

He set the book upside down on the counter. The last outfit he wore was a simple shirt and pants. It didn’t seem like something a Composer should wear. Joshua frowned as he tried to remember something he’d seen in a store or a magazine. Nothing in particular came to mind.

“Alright,” Joshua said, “time for advanced tactics.”

Closing his eyes, he stretched his arms out. He was acutely aware of his body. The music in the air curled around his skin and tickled his more sensitive areas. It made him giggle and he yelped when a few notes burned against his skin.

“Focus, focus,” he mumbled.

He decided to start small with underclothing. A lacy bra, a pair of silk underwear, and a pair of white stockings pulled up to his knees. It felt fine to continue and he pictured a pink blouse with lace at the cuffs and collar, followed by a fluffy light pink skirt with ruffles underneath. He could feel it bouncing against his thighs and he smiled.

Opening his eyes, he was shocked to see how he’d managed. The colors were a bit off from his thoughts and the shape wasn’t exactly accurate, but it was close enough to not be a complete disaster.

He picked the booklet back up.

“Good job, you have successfully (we hope) dressed. The next order of business is the creation of food and drink. Have you attempted this? If not, please continue. If you have, skip to the next page.”

Joshua flipped the page.

“IMPORTANT – You may need time adjusting to food and drink in the UG. Since music is amplified and your music vibrates at a higher frequency than that of the others, food and drink will be a pleasure. However, it is not necessary to eat or to sleep after the first three months of Composerhood.”

Well, that explained the apple. Joshua held his hand out and popped a green apple into his palm. He took a bite, and once again a pleasurable warmth filled him. With sticky fingers he continued to read until coming to a chapter entitled, “Sexuality”.

Joshua leaned into the counter. He felt as if he was about to read a sex education book.

“Sexuality – If you have had a meal or a drink, you now understand how pleasure works in the UG. If you are old enough to have a sexual relationship you will find orgasms to be more powerful.”

He’d never had sex. The thought made Joshua’s face turn red.

“Composers are allowed to have multiple sexual encounters. It is recommended to keep your sexual encounters brief, as Composers are not allowed to have close relationships with anyone but your Producer and Conductor. It is important to remember you may feel your sexual orientation changing. It is completely normal and you may also find a sexual encounter with multiple partners quite pleasing.”

Joshua swallowed hard. He continued reading with another bite of apple.

“Have you a chosen orientation? If you are unsure, please read on.”

Below the sentence was a chart of sexual orientations and romantic ones. Joshua trailed his finger down over each of them. He hadn’t had the time to stop and think about sex when alive. Though he had kissed and touched other boys and a couple girls, he never wanted to have sex.

Then again…there were a couple people who made his insides quiver.

But he never thought about romantic love. He’d often thought about being married with children, since it was something expected of him, but he certainly wouldn’t have been monogamous.

He shook his head and a fall of silver curls bounced against his face. No, it was too early to think about having sex in the Underground. He was young, and he had plenty of time to grow up.

A sudden thought hit Joshua.

Turning back to the index he found the chapter on aging and lifespans.

“If you have read this far in the booklet, good job! The following chapter may cause distress, but never forget the music surrounding you. Your region loves and adores you, so long as you care for it with your full heart.”

Joshua rolled his eyes.

“Now, for the painful truths of being a Composer. You are eternal. Though time may pass, you will not age and your form is-at all times-able to be aged up or down. You will not die unless a Player or Reaper manages to defeat your Game Masters and Conductor. You most likely already know this. Fear not, as the turnover rate for Composers fluctuate yearly, but is usually below five to fifteen percent.”

He continued to read. The paragraph was harsh and frightening, but Joshua was too interested in the negative side of being an all powerful being.

“If you are afraid someone in your past might seek you out, do not worry. Upon ascension to the throne of Composer you will be forgotten by all who knew you. You will not be mourned, and your body will be absorbed into the music. You will not have a grave or ashes. You are, currently and further, a distant echo in the world. You may straddle the RG and UG, but only under a different name. You may not tell anyone of your position as Composer or you will suffer censure at the hands of the High Council.”

Joshua snapped the booklet shut. He tossed it onto the counter and made the apple disappear.

The paperwork remained, but he didn’t feel like reading anymore. There was a television above the hearth in his apartment and he settled onto the white couch in front of it.

He didn’t turn it on. The silence was nice for his thoughts, but it made him feel lonely.

The phone he had left on his bed appeared next to him and he picked it up. On the list of contacts there were two people at the top.

His finger hit the first name without a thought. It rang twice, and the man on the other end fumbled with the phone before saying, “Lord Composer?”

“I told you to stop that,” he hissed. “Megumi, do you…do you think you could come over?”

“Yes, Lo-,” he paused, “what should I call you?”

“Please,” Joshua swallowed against a lump in his throat, “call me Joshua? You don’t have to do it in front of the others but…when we’re alone, you can call me Joshua.”

Megumi hummed. “Whatever you wish, sir. Did you need me to bring something over? Are you hungry or…”

Joshua rubbed at his face. He felt like crying. “No, I’m alright. I thought you could help me with the stack of paperwork I have. I mean, you were the Conductor for my predecessor.”

“Of course, Joshua. I will be over in a few minutes.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

The phone call didn’t end. Megumi’s voice grew soft.

“Joshua, are you alright?”

He sniffled. “Yes, yes. I’m alright. Thank you for your concern, Megumi.”

Another pause. “I’m glad you won, sir.”

Joshua laughed bitterly. “Thank you.”

The phone beeped when the call dropped. Joshua leaned forward, placed his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands. A stream of hot tears slipped through his fingers.

He felt the air shift and his Conductor’s energy surrounded him.

There were no words as Megumi sat next to him on the couch. His hand curled around Joshua’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

Joshua felt weak. He tried to hide his sadness but a sob escaped between his lips. The bright music of his Conductor danced against his, and a weight settled over his ears.

He sat up. The headphones Megumi usually had around his neck were now on Joshua’s ears. Quiet jazz music played and the sound lulled Joshua into a calm state. His eyes shut and the touch of Megumi’s hands on his face with a cloth made him shiver.

“I’m weak,” he whispered.

“No, sir,” Megumi said, just as softly, “being a Composer is not about power. It’s about feeling and being more human than you were when alive. You are not weak. You are human.”

Joshua’s eyes fluttered open. He turned to his Conductor and pulled the sunglasses off of his face to see the dark eyes behind. “Thank you, Megumi. Would you stay with me? Even after the paperwork is completed, would you stay with me?”

“I would do anything to please you, Lord Composer,” he said without hesitation. “I not only serve you, Joshua, but I am your friend.”

“I don’t know you, but,” Joshua paused, “I would like to.”

Megumi smiled. He took his sunglasses back and set them on top of his head. “I would like nothing more than to be your friend.”

Joshua smiled back, feeling uplifted.

Perhaps being a Composer wouldn’t be too bad.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three – Calling

 

Hanekoma wasn’t worried when he didn’t hear anything from Joshua for a week. He didn’t think anything of it when the boy called Megumi first, and it didn’t bother him when Megumi texted for him to come over. Instead of leaving immediately, Hanekoma gathered a few things together from his studio. The first month was always the hardest for a new Composer. Shibuya’s music fills every pore and for those too weak to handle it, there was madness.

He knew Joshua wouldn’t be one of those people. Joshua had been in the music his entire life.

Gathering up the box and the tiny hedgehog who had been bunking with him, he faded from the café to appear in the apartment.

The sight of Joshua curled against Megumi made Hanekoma’s heart flip. Megumi held a finger to his lips and Joshua shifted closer to the Conductor. His pale leg had folded over Megumi’s lap and his arms were wrapped around Megumi’s neck.

Hanekoma grinned. He walked past the couch to set the box down on the breakfast table next to the glass doors to the balcony. “How is he?”

“He’s been sleeping for a couple hours,” Megumi whispered.

The barista leaned over the couch to watch the rise and fall of Joshua’s chest. He tilted his head down to share a kiss with Megumi. It wasn’t odd for the Conductor and Producer to have a fling here and there. Such relationships strengthened the music of the city and assisted with the Game.

“Did he cry?” Hanekoma continued to lean on the back of the couch.

Megumi nodded. “He said he felt weak. He is everything but weak.”

“Poor kid,” Hanekoma said. He drew a hand through Joshua’s hair. “It’s gonna be tough. I don’t think we’ve had many Composers as young as ‘im.”

“It isn’t unheard of, but yes. He will need us both,” Megumi whispered, his arms wrapping tighter around the sleeping boy. “I’m surprised, however, of his grasp of music.”

Hanekoma peeked down at the swell of Joshua’s breasts. “I dunno. He’s been fiddlin’ with music since he was a child. He made his first Noise five seconds after syncing with Shibuya.”

“Really?” Megumi’s eyes widened. “Interesting.”

The hedgehog squeaked from the box, crawled to the table, and rolled into the floor. It wandered over to the Conductor and climbed up to sit on his shoulder. The movement made Joshua groan.

A few, quiet moments later, and the Composer yawned wide as he sat up. He rubbed at his eyes and it took a while for him to notice his surroundings. Glancing between the two men, he yawned once more and stretched his arms to the sky.

“Did I sleep long?”

Megumi shook his head. “Not at all. Are you feeling alright, Joshua?”

The Producer arched an eyebrow. It was odd to hear Megumi call a Composer anything but Lord. Hanekoma assumed it was Joshua who made him do it.

“I feel terrible,” Joshua grumbled, “and I’m hungry. My hands hurt.”

Hanekoma grinned. It was beginning. “I brought ya a care package ta help wit’ that.”

“A care package?” Joshua wiggled his fingers.

“Lord-,” Megumi coughed, “Joshua, in the first month of your training you will need to manage the music in physical form. You will be inspired to the point of pain to create. Thankfully, it will only last a couple of weeks.”

Joshua slid from Megumi’s lap. “I have these images in my head. Do you have paper in your care package, Sanae? I need to jot these things down.”

The barista was surprised at the calm Joshua displayed. Most Composers would be shaking and mumbling in various languages as they scribbled whatever they could on whatever was available.

But on closer inspection, Hanekoma could see the panic in Joshua’s eyes and the trembling in his hands. He hurried to the box, pulling a sketchpad and a box of colored pencils from it. The moment he handed it to Joshua the art began to take form.

The Composer’s thin fingers managed to hold more than one pencil as he switched between colors. A series of sharp lines and curves formed a general sketch of a tagged wall. When the pencils began to annoy Joshua, Hanekoma went back to the box to carry it to the coffee table.

“Knock y’self out, kiddo.”

Joshua set the sketchbook and pencils aside. His hands dug through the many forms of art and he settled on a box of multicolored clay. There was a collection of utensils to form the clay, and Joshua carried all of it to the breakfast table to make small figures. His eyes were focused as he molded people, Noise, and abstract shapes Hanekoma wasn’t sure what where.

While he watched, Hanekoma noticed Megumi moving from the couch to the kitchenette. There was a pot of coffee and a basket of biscuits and cookies. He took them both to the table and sat across from Joshua to keep an eye on him.

Hanekoma smiled. So far, everything was going smoothly. The music flowed from Joshua in a myriad of colored streaks and swirls. His aura changed from pink to white, and from white to silver. All Hanekoma could do was stare in awe as Joshua worked through the pain without complaint.

Two hours went by before Joshua fell back to sleep in his arms on the table. He was surrounded by sketches and figures. A box of pastels were scattered over the glass top table, and Joshua’s arms and face were covered in color.

“It’s going well, isn’t it?” Megumi sipped at his third cup of coffee. “If things continue in this way, Joshua will be an exceptional Composer. We attempted paperwork last night, but he only got through two pages before falling asleep.”

Hanekoma laughed. He knelt next to Joshua and watched as the Composer slept with long, heavy breaths through his mouth. “I reckon we need to clean ‘im up.”

“Let him sleep, Sanae,” Megumi ran a finger around his cup, “we can clean him up later.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” he mused. “Aight. I know it’s not protocol but how ‘bout that paperwork?”

Megumi pushed up from the table. “Since when have you worried about protocol? Wasn’t it you who selected him to overthrow our previous Composer?”

“And you,” Hanekoma teased, “actin’ as if you were passed out.”

“But it hurt,” he grinned, “and I wasn’t acting.”

“Yeah, right. C’mon, paperwork.”

Megumi shrugged. “Whatever you say, Sanae.”

\---------------------------------------

Joshua had been left alone. Instead of continuing to create art, as Shibuya asked, he returned to the paperwork and the basket of pamphlets. He ignored the suggestion to use black ink only, and used a sharp shade of purple. It wasn’t as if they were going to make him do it again.

When he had woke up, the air was filled with the scent of art supplies and stale coffee. It reminded Joshua of the Wildcat Café, and it helped the migraine aching behind his eyes. Unfortunately, it did nothing for the pain in his back. The skin was swollen and red, and he could feel something beneath the surface moving against his muscles.

According to one of the booklets, it was his wings, which would tear through his physical form before settling into his music on either side. In preparation, Joshua had removed his shirt and wore a simple white towel around his waist.

The paperwork began to blend together and Joshua yawned. He flipped through one of the booklets instead of continuing to write. It explained the differences between a Composer in the RG and UG, and the various jobs a Composer could have on the side to help the energy of Shibuya.

Joshua wasn’t one for work, but a few of the jobs-such as writer for magazines and fiction-made him curious to try.

A dull ache ripped through his back and he winced. Should he call Sanae? Or should he call Megumi?

Perhaps he should suffer alone. He didn’t like being seen as weak, and though the two men who would be his constant companions in the years to come, never judged him. Joshua dropped his head into his arms and shuddered as the pain increased and decreased with his rapid heartbeat.

“Fuck,” he whispered against his pale skin.

It started with a pin prick near his shoulder blades. A series of smaller pinches ran down both sides of his back and he trembled. The pain grew, and the sound of skin tearing made Joshua hiss.

“Don’t scream, don’t scream,” he repeated over and over.

The mantra didn’t help.

His back was hot with pain and blood. Joshua could see it dripping and pooling beneath him and the barstool he sat on. His hands gripped the counter and he cried out as a fall of pink feathers fell around him.

The pain turned into anguish and he toppled from the barstool, hands scrabbling to touch his back despite knowing it was impossible. His head banged against the wall and the room spun.

In front of him he saw Megumi appear with a worried expression. The man said nothing as he scooped Joshua up and held him. Not too long after, Sanae appeared looking similarly upset.

The barista grabbed the towel that had fallen from Joshua’s waist to dot at the sweat on Joshua’s forehead and face. He made soothing sounds and stroked his hands down Joshua’s shoulders and arms.

Joshua shuddered hard enough that his teeth chattered. The ripping pain had turned to pressure, and it reminded Joshua of an infected wound being cleared. It hurt, but oh did it feel so good. The wings flapped as they broke free. Two large, white wings dripping with blood sagged around Joshua and covered his face and body. He whimpered and shook, but the sight of his wings and the feathers gently drifting through the air made him smile.

“B-beautiful…” he gasped, reaching up to tug on a loose feather.

Whatever pain he felt disappeared as a curl of pleasure began in his stomach from the touch. He didn’t question it. His hands slid through the feathers, dislodging the loose ones to flutter to the floor. Joshua barely paid attention to the two men fawning over him. The pleasure of touch made him sigh long and loud.

“Hey, kiddo,” Sanae’s voice was gruff. “Don’t do that.”

Joshua ignored him. He continued plucking at the feathers as his body shivered with need. It didn’t feel dirty. It didn’t feel sexual. It felt like falling into Heaven.

“Lord Composer, you shouldn’t-“

A strange sensation flooded his body. His hands shook and his wings flapped hard enough to hit the walls and counter with a smack. The moment passed and he felt giddy and drunk. He giggled in his stupor and laughed as Megumi lifted him up in his arms.

Joshua wrapped his arms around Megumi and grinned. “I love you.”

Behind them he heard Sanae laugh.

“No, sir, you don’t,” Megumi said with a smile.

“I love you both so much,” he groaned. “I feel good. Oh, I feel like I’m in paradise.”

Megumi set him down on the cold floor of the bathroom. Before Joshua could ask, the warmth of a shower ran over his back and his wings. It made him giggle in his stupidity and he arched his back to let the water spill over the wounds.

“Just relax, sir,” Megumi said, his hand trailing over Joshua’s skin.

The Composer could feel the stickiness of drying blood on his back. His wings stretched and bounced in the air in an attempt to flick the blood from their feathers.

“Here,” Sanae knelt down with a strange looking brush, “lemme help.”

The brush ran over his wings with a flowery scented soap. His loose feathers fell and the blood turned the water pink. Joshua watched enraptured by the swirling water going down the drain. He enjoyed being pampered and he began to sing. The music in his heart was straining against his chest and he released the pain with words.

It didn’t seem to bother the two men as they continued to clean the wings and Joshua’s back. He sang in languages he didn’t know he understood, and he called out in notes he had never been able to reach. The voice was angelic. It wasn’t like him at all.

The shower clicked off and the water ran in little rivers down Joshua’s skin. He closed his eyes as a towel fell onto him and it was only then he noticed the weight of his wings were gone.

“What…what happened?”

“It’s alright, Joshua,” Megumi said gently. “The transition from physical to spiritual is complete.”

“At least his wings,” Sanae corrected, “but he’s gotta long way to go.”

Joshua groaned. “What else is going to happen? I feel like a train wreck. If I had known-“

“You shot yourself in the face, kiddo.” Sanae rubbed the towel over Joshua’s hair. “Thinking ahead hasn’t always been your thing.”

“True,” Joshua sighed. “Are you going to leave me alone to dress? Not that I mind your company, but I would rather like to be by myself for a bit.”

The two men nodded and complied. They left the bathroom and shut the door with a click. Joshua could hear them talking as they went down the hall to the living area.

In the bathroom, surrounded by the dripping of water, Joshua rose from the cold floor. He wrapped a towel around his waist and stood in front of the full length mirror on the wall. His blonde hair was streaked with silver and his eyes were growing more violet. He placed a hand on the mirror and tilted his head.

“I’m beautiful,” he said, not thinking about how narcissistic sounded.

There was a hand mirror on the vanity. He picked it up and turned his back to the full length mirror to try and see what his back looked like. Joshua expected open wounds or oozing slits in his skin, but there wasn’t even a scar.

All the wings had left were thin lines of silver arching over his shoulder blades and down. It looked like a skeletal pair of wings. Joshua giggled. He wondered what his mother would think of his metamorphosis? Knowing her, she would probably think he was just as beautiful as he always was. She loved him no matter what and an ache in his heart made him wince. At least she wouldn’t forget him, considering she had died of cancer weeks before Joshua’s death.

“Right,” he said aloud to jog his brain to focus. “What to wear?”

Staring at his naked body, Joshua decided to return to his male form. The breasts flattened and he felt the weight of his boyhood between his legs. It felt weird to be able to change his sex, but it also felt nice. He dropped the towel and turned to the side. His hips were sharp and his gangly body made him frown.

Well, it wasn’t as if he could gain weight now.

Joshua waved his hand to form a yellow sweater he was sure came from the Mus-Rattus line as there was a mascot on the front. The sweater hung from his body and the cargo pants he decided to wear were loose around his legs.

A thought occurred to him. If he could change his sex…

He imagined what he might look like if chubby. Joshua thought a little weight was beautiful on other people but he’d never seen in on his own frame. The odd change filled out his clothes, and a rounded belly pushed against the sweater. He smiled. He felt warm.

“I think,” he said to his reflection, “you are quite adorable.”

The reflection smiled back. “And so are you.”

Joshua giggled. Imagination was fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (In which Joshua smiles a lot.)

 Chapter Four – Transition

 

The sound of children playing soothed Joshua’s nerves. He slid into the water at the local fitness center and watched as the children learned how to swim in the smaller pool nearby. It felt nice being in the water after so long. He had been an accomplished swimmer in school, but he hadn’t been social enough to join any of the clubs or teams. Dipping his head under the water his body acclimated to the temperature.

It had been three to four weeks since Joshua had become Composer. Megumi and Sanae had been overbearing to the point of annoyance. Against their wishes Joshua had snuck out of the apartment.

He dove forward in the water and began to swim laps back and forth in the olympic sized pool. The splashing of water and the echo of children’s voices made Joshua forget how dead he was. Being a Composer wasn’t at all what he thought it would be. The world was completely different. He didn’t just see the Game with the Players, Reapers, and Noise, but he saw the imagination around people in the RG.

Joshua found children to be the brightest. They would glow with such potential and possibility until they were about ten to twelve. He saw far too many of them lost their light, and of those remaining, the glow had dimmed to gray.

Continuing to swim, he lost himself in the water. Back and forth he swam, letting the ripples caress his back as he focused his breathing.

A shadow fell over the end of the lane and Joshua nearly had a panic attack when he saw Megumi standing above him. “Lord Composer, you shouldn’t have left the apartment.”

“Megumi for the love of God don’t sneak up on me,” Joshua gasped as he regulated his breathing. “The apartment was stifling and I needed air. Am I under house arrest? Is a Composer not allowed to have freedom?”

The Conductor knelt down. “You may have freedom after you’ve adjusted.”

“Trust me,” Joshua dunked under the water and resurfaced, “I’m adjusted to being a walking corpse.”

“Sir-“

“Why don’t you join me? I could teach you,” Joshua giggled. “C’mon, Megumi, lighten up.”

Megumi exhaled in frustration. “Lord Composer, I must insist you return to the apartment.”

“Why,” Joshua groaned. “I don’t want to.”

“Stop being petulant.”

Joshua blinked. “Are you talking back to me, Megumi?”

“No, sir-“

“Leave me alone,” Joshua hissed. He turned away from Megumi and continued to swim. The energy of his Conductor remained, but he ignored it. Within three laps he could feel Sanae’s energy join Megumi’s and he swam to the bottom of the pool.

In the water he pretended to see small tadpoles and frogs swimming about. He took a breath, realized it didn’t do a thing to drown him, and he stayed on the bottom of the pool. A frog swam over to him and he smiled as it bounced into his hand.

An array of colored tadpoles swam around him and he floated up and out of the water onto his back.

The two men were watching him with narrowed eyes.

“What now?” Joshua was beginning to get furiously annoyed.

Sanae knelt down. “If yer feelin’ cooped up, there’s better ways ta get out.”

He rubbed the water from his eyes. “Such as?”

A frog hopped onto his head. Joshua reached up to pat it.

Megumi pointed his finger and the buzz of static tickled the top of Joshua’s head as the Noise was Erased.

“Why did you do that for?” Joshua scratched his head. “He was only playing.”

“Y’can’t call Noise in the middle of a pool,” Sanae argued. “C’mon, let’s go to the café.”

Joshua attempted to disappear back into the water but the barista snapped his fingers and the water turned to a fluffy rug. He was in Sanae’s small apartment behind the café. It was messy and smelled like coffee and cigarettes. Joshua stood up and pointed a finger at Sanae’s face. “You had no right.”

“I have every right as your Producer,” Sanae shouted back. “Get yer ass on that sofa.”

“No!” Joshua felt a little childish and a bit frightened. His surrogate father had never spoken to him in such a fashion. “I don’t want to be locked into a room!”

“Sit. Down.”

Joshua tilted his chin up. “Make me.”

It was stupid to prod Sanae. He grabbed Joshua by the arm and shoved him onto the couch. “Stop being a child, J.”

“But I am a child,” he argued. “I’m only fifteen.”

The two men stared at him. His pout turned into a frown and he dropped his gaze to the carpet as a shiver ran through him. With a simple thought he changed out of his swimwear and into a warm outfit of a long sleeve shirt with a tank top underneath. He enjoyed wearing pastels, which was completely different from the boring gray and white he wore when alive.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t want to be boxed in for the rest of eternity.”

“You won’t be,” Megumi replied. He sat down on the couch. “You need to trust us. We only have your best interest at heart. A Composer is weak for the first few months.”

Joshua closed his eyes. He remembered it was the middle of the week. “How is the Game?”

“Goin’ great, J.” Sanae didn’t sit. He stood in the corner near the window and lit up a cigarette. “Megs’ll tell ya the numbers.”

“Yes, sir. There were around thirty Players at the start. Eight remain and the Harriers are excited for the seventh day. I collected the entry fees and I have been holding them for you. On the seventh day,” Megumi adjusted his sunglasses, “you will be able to choose who comes back.”

“What if I choose everyone?”

“You could,” Megumi said, “but I have faith you will see the subtle differences in the Players and choose only the best and brightest to return.”

Joshua blinked his eyes open. “I want to go out.”

“Y’shouldn’t go out alone.” Sanae tapped the cigarette into an ashtray before bringing it back to his lips for a breath. “We can go wit’ ya.”

“What if I say no?”

Both men narrowed their eyes. Joshua laughed.

“Fine, fine. I’ll go with you, Sanae. Not that I don’t like you, Megumi, but I want you to keep an eye on the Game and the Players. You will let me know if you see anything that needs my attention?”

“Of course, sir,” Megumi stood to bow, and he disappeared from view.

It left a strained energy in the air. Joshua turned to Sanae. The sunlight defined the wrinkles and gruff exterior of the angel, but his eyes glimmered with youth.

“How old are you?” Joshua leaned back into the couch and a spring popped.

Sanae stamped his cigarette out. “Old enough.”

“Tell me about yourself. I know very little.”

The angel licked his lips. “What’dya wanna know?”

Joshua tapped a finger to his chin. “I’m not sure. In one of the booklets it said Players could ascend to the Higher Plane. Were you a Player at one point?”

“Nope,” he said quickly. “I’ve been an angel my whole life.”

“Oh. How does that happen?” Joshua crossed one leg over the other. The room was warm.

“Poof.” Sanae stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the window. “I was needed. I came inta bein’ with a thought. The High Coucil gave me a mission an’ I’ve been doin’ it for hundreds of years, kiddo.”

Joshua frowned. “How can you bear to watch your Composers and Conductors disappear? Doesn’t it hurt to know that one day, I too, will disappear?”

“Not if I can help it, J.” He smiled, but there was a strained sadness in his expression. “Look, it’s best if ya don’t think ‘bout it.”

“I can’t help but think about it. When I was human-“

“Yer still human.”

“Alright. When I was alive, I thought of the future as a burden. Now, I have eternity stretching before me and I can’t help but feel powerless. Megumi will leave me eventually. How am I supposed to make connections and friendships with the cloud of loss hanging over me?”

Sanae moved to sit on the coffee table in front of Joshua. “Don’t think about it.”

“Is that your answer to everything?” Joshua sighed.

Rough hands cupped Joshua’s face and he leaned into the touch. Sanae’s thumbs stroked his cheeks and he felt his fraying nerves calm.

“I’mma make you somethin’ ta eat,” the barista said suddenly. He pulled away and left the apartment for the café.

Joshua could hear him banging around while singing incredibly off key. The smell of pancakes cooking on the stove urged Joshua to follow Sanae. He sat at the bar and watched as Sanae flipped pancakes up into the air.

“It’ll get easier?” He asked, leaning on his hands.

The Producer glanced over his shoulder. “Yep.”

“I trust you,” Joshua said. “I will take it one day at a time.”

“That’s the best advice I can give ya.”

Joshua smiled. He couldn’t wait until the seventh day.

\---------------------------------------------

The rest of the week went in a similar fashion. Joshua stayed close to Sanae’s side and he hadn’t seen Megumi since the swimming incident. Instead of hanging out in the world, Joshua decided to lounge in the Pad or in his throne. He was still learning to transition from RG to UG, and from real form to Composer form. Most of the paperwork had been completed, and the only thing he had left in the beginner’s booklet was to summon and create Noise.

It had been fairly easy to call small Noise. The hedgehog-which he decided to call Bob for whatever reason-and the frogs had come into being without a thought. Joshua had filled the throne room with tiny Noise and he Erased them quickly after.

Intermediate Noise, however, had been giving him a bit of trouble. He attempted to call a wolf, but all he managed to bring into being was a puppy. It annoyed Joshua to the point of exhaustion and eventually he gave up and chose to doodle in a sketchpad. He draped one leg over the arm of the throne as he relaxed.

The drawings he made were of different Noise he wanted to add to the Game and a series of pins he thought might be helpful. He also found symbols forming in his mind and he sketched the rough form of a shopping decal in the corner.

“Lord Composer,” Megumi’s voice echoed in the throne room, “we have the candidates ready.”

Joshua sighed and glanced at his watch. “My, is it time already?”

“Yes, sir,” he said. In his hands were a couple of lights. “Here they are.”

Sitting up in the throne, Joshua cupped his hands to hold the sleeping Players. “They’re beautiful. Well, at least three of them are. What should we do about the other two?”

“It is protocol to give them a choice to reenter the Game.” Megumi stood straight with a professionalism Joshua didn’t possess.

“Hello,” Joshua whispered to the souls, “I want the three brightest to return. As for the other two, give them the choice to reenter or be Erased. They aren’t bright enough for ascension and I refuse to let them become Reapers.”

“Yes, sir,” Megumi said, bowing. “I shall take care of it. Would you like to watch?”

“I suppose it would be wise,” Joshua agreed. “I will do it remotely.”

Megumi bowed again and disappeared along with the shimmering souls. Joshua waved his hand and a portal appeared much like a television screen. He watched as Megumi explained to the Players how only three would return to life, and as expected, the two who didn’t make the cut began to complain. Megumi ignored them as he returned entry fees and sent the two back into the fabric of Shibuya. The three remaining were nervous, but they all chose to return to life. Megumi gathered them up and reappeared in front of Joshua in the throne room.

“Here you are, Lord Composer.”

Joshua smiled. He had been waiting for this moment all week. The sleeping Players took form before him and they hovered in the air. Joshua stroked a hand down the face of one boy. A feather appeared in his fingers and he placed it against the boy’s forehead.

The boy smiled as he disappeared. As Joshua revived the others, they also smiled peacefully.

Shibuya suddenly rang out and Joshua laughed at the melody playing in his soul. She was incredibly happy and the feeling of his city growing stronger made Joshua lose control of his RG form. He arched his wings behind him and gave them a sharp flap.

“Megumi, I am pleased. Shibuya is also quite happy,” he said, voice deep. “Our next Game will be in two weeks, correct?”

“Yes, sir. We only have a handful of Players at this point. It would be wasteful to hold a Game until we hit double digits.”

Joshua’s lips curled into a grin. “Good thinking. I will leave it to you. Oh, I almost forgot. What are the numbers for the Harriers and Game Masters? Do we have anyone who needs to be Erased?”

“No, sir,” Megumi said. He pulled a paper out of the air. “However, Koki Kariya has kept his position on the bottom of the list. He barely has enough points to remain in the roster.”

Koki Kariya. “Ah, yes. The orange haired lazy one. I like him. He’s interesting. Give him a few points for favor, Megumi.”

Megumi tilted his head as if to question him. He didn’t.

“Now, with the Game completed and Shibuya happy, am I allowed to go out on my own?”

“Not yet. You have another month at least. Your grasp of Noise is tenuous at best, and you haven’t begun to shift into your Noise form.”

Joshua had completely forgotten about Noise forms. He knew Megumi was a cobra of sorts, and Sanae refused to tell him what he was. The Game Masters were often cats, currently and in the histories Joshua read. But he didn’t find much on Composer forms.

“Will it come to that?” Joshua asked, highly curious.

Megumi shrugged. “I have yet to see it. Conductors are usually where the Players end.”

“Do you have any ideas on what I should be?”

“It isn’t up to you or me, sir. Shibuya will tell you when you are ready.”

“I must not be,” Joshua said. “She hasn’t told me anything.”

“Give it time, sir. She loves you. I don’t believe I’ve seen such adoration in years.”

Joshua’s face flushed. “T-thank you, Megumi. That is all.”

The Conductor faded from the throne room and Joshua settled back into his seat. His Composer form fluttered and he reigned his power back in. The room grew quiet as Shibuya calmed and the energy around Joshua danced with pleasure.

It was late, and the day would soon end. Joshua closed his eyes and leaned into the throne.

His first Game had come and gone without incident.

Pride swelled within. Perhaps he was getting the hang of being Composer.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five – Coming and Going

 

“Are you ready?”

Hanekoma stood at one end of the Room of Reckoning. It was time for Joshua to prove his power as Composer by taking his final form. The kid was bubbling with excitement despite standing completely still with one hand on his hips. Across from Hanekoma, in one corner, Megumi leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

He was proud.

“Go ahead, kid,” Hanekoma said, “dazzle me.”

The air shifted around Joshua. He slid into his Composer form effortlessly and stretched his arms wide as his wings unfurled behind him. They pointed to the ceiling and dropped a few feathers that disappeared into static before hitting the floor. Joshua giggled, a melodic sound, and the light exploded around him.

Hanekoma winced at the brightness. He shut his eyes until it passed and when he opened them he stood in awe at the beautiful creature Joshua had become.

The kid was a slender ray of light. It was hard to make him out, but his human form was in the middle of it all like a fairy. Four giant wings arched behind him in graffiti shapes, and the silvery light they cast was blinding. They snapped once, and a flurry of color painted the wings in reds and blues. With each beat the sound of tinkling bells could be heard and behind it all, Joshua giggled.

“Are you impressed?”

Hanekoma could only nod. He glanced to Megumi and saw the Conductor grinning.

“Very good, sir,” he said, “how long can you hold it?”

“Long enough,” Joshua replied. He gracefully slid into his RG form and the wings disappeared into his back with a pop. “Ah, it feels good to be small.”

The barista laughed. “I think it’s time fer a celebration.”

“Oh?” Joshua plopped down on the throne like a prince and crossed one elegant leg over the other. “And what might that be?”

“Lord Composer, sir, I believe you have earned the right to wander freely throughout Shibuya.”

Joshua lit up. “Really? Can I interact with people?”

“Of course,” Hanekoma said, despite being nervous. “Y’can talk ta anyone but no tellin’ them.”

“I’m not dense, Sanae.” Joshua twirled a lock of hair around his finger. It bounced against his cheek when released. He continued to lounge on the throne, ignoring the two men. In his hands he formed a book and began to read. It took several minutes before he tilted his head toward Hanekoma. “Oh. I thought you would have realized I don’t need you two.”

“Y’don’t have ta be rude about it, J.”

“Whatever, just go,” he said, and waved his hand as if shooing a bird. Joshua began reading again with a smile on his face.

Megumi bowed even though the Composer wasn’t paying attention, and he winked out of the throne room to appear in the Pad. Not far behind, Hanekoma followed, and the two men collectively sighed in relief.

“Finally,” Megumi exhaled. He took a bottle from one of the shelves and began mixing a drink. “I do love our dear Composer but hasn’t he become a bit…how to put it…”

“He’s an asshole,” Hanekoma said. He took another bottle and drank straight from it. “Kid’s got the right stuff but he lacks emotion. Can’t say I blame ‘im after all the shit he’s been through.”

“Unfortunately I have to agree.” Megumi shook a container and poured the contents into a small glass. He lined it with salt and took a sip. “I’m not sure if I would have agreed to this if I had met him before the Game. He can be a bit insufferable, but he has Shibuya’s best interest at heart.”

Hanekoma continued to drink. He tapped the jukebox in the corner with one finger and a jaunty tune began to play. It wasn’t the jazz Megumi liked, but it was music. The liquor warmed Hanekoma’s limbs and he sighed before setting the bottle down on the counter.

“He’s got a long way to go, Megs.”

The Conductor nodded solemnly. “One thing worries me.”

“One thing?” Hanekoma grinned.

Megumi ignored the comment. “He’s far too interested in companionship. Most Composers are quite closed off and yet Joshua craves friends more than power. It’s strange, but perhaps it’s for the best.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Hanekoma replied with a shake of the wrist. “It ain’t gonna kill ‘im.”

“I hope not.” Megumi took another sip of the fruity concoction and turned his back to Hanekoma as he began clicking numbers and letters on his phone.

Hanekoma shrugged and pulled out a notebook to doodle in. It had been a long day and an even longer three months with the kid. Though Shibuya was happy, Hanekoma couldn’t help but feel a cloud hanging over him. Something was amiss, but he wasn’t sure what it was.

Whatever it might be, it didn’t do to dwell on it.

It couldn’t be that bad. Right?

\------------------------------------------

Joshua was free.

At least, he felt free. His wings were out and he stood on the edge of his balcony to survey the people in the busy streets below. He wondered what it would be like to fall from the thirteenth floor. Would it hurt when he slammed into the ground? Would it kill him? Probably not.

It was curious to Joshua. He closed his eyes and tumbled backward to glide down. His wings afforded a bit of protection, and within minutes he landed not so comfortably on the pavement.

Joshua rolled into the side of a car and lay with his arms out to the sides. His wings had disappeared the minute he hit the ground and he grinned stupidly.

Apparently bodies did bounce when they fell.

“Hey, you alright?”

Joshua glanced up to see the orange haired Harrier. “Oh, I feel wonderful.”

“Reapers ain’t supposed to be playin’ around,” Kariya said. He offered a hand and Joshua took it.

“Thank you, but I’m-“ he paused, “I’m not like you.”

Kariya hummed, clicked the lollipop to the other side of his mouth, and shrugged. “Higher Ups are strange critters. What’er you doin’ here?”

“Having fun, of course. Shibuya is a wonderful playground.” Joshua dusted off his shirt and slacks. “You’re not in Game are you? Why don’t you show me around?”

“Meh, why not. I haven’t got anythin’ else planned.” Kariya turned and headed toward Dogenzaka. “I hope ya like ramen. But I’m not paying.”

Joshua giggled. “I can pay. We make substantially more than you. Tell me, how is it being a Reaper?”

“It’s a job. Everyone’s gotta eat, right?”

They entered the Ramen Don and took a seat at the back. Kariya propped one foot up on the table and leaned sideways in the booth. He pulled a small notebook out of his pocket and wrote down a series of numbers Joshua wasn’t sure of.

“What are those? Oh, they look like statistics. Can I see?” He plucked the notebook away and scanned the lines. It read of Player counts and Reaper points. There were food stains in the margins and a few artistic scribbles of stick figures in weird positions. He even had Noise in the book with numbers and names and how often he used them.

“You’re a bit rude, ain’t you?” Kariya didn’t seem to care. He merely grinned, pulled a piece of paper from behind his ear, and wrapped the lollipop into it. The man at the front of the restaurant saw them and Kariya held up two fingers.

Joshua closed the book and slid it across the table. “Thank you. I pride myself on being as incapable of socialization as possible.”

Kariya stuffed the book back in his pocket. “Snarky, too.”

“I like you,” Joshua said. “Honest and true. A perfect example of life in Shibuya.”

“If ya say so.” The orange haired Reaper began folding his napkin into the shape of a butterfly. “So. Tell me about yourself. You’re not an angel, are you?”

“Uh,” Joshua attempted to come up with an argument but fell flat, “no, no I’m not.”

“Well, you’re not the Conductor. I know him. He’s kind of a douche.”

Joshua laughed. “He has his moments.”

“Ain’t the Producer either. He’s not allowed to let anyone know who he is. Though I have my suspicions it’s that CAT guy.”

“It could be,” Joshua said as the owner brought their meals. He stared into the bowl of ramen and a warmth filled his insides. It looked delicious.

Kariya eyed him. He finally sat up, took a bite, and tapped his chopsticks on the bowl. “I bet you’re the Composer.”

A flush of panic trickled through Joshua. He blinked in confusion. “Why would you think that?”

The Reaper laughed. “I’m just messin’ with you. Eat up.”

“Oh, you had me there. Funny,” Joshua said. He took a bite of food and purred. “It’s very salty and yet light. The flavor is amazing. How have I not come here before?”

“It’s a hole in the wall. Blink and you’ll miss it. So,” Kariya swirled the broth around, “you want to know what it’s like being a Reaper? That means you’re not a Reaper either.”

“True. What I am is a mystery,” Joshua said with a shrug, “even I am unsure of what I am.”

Kariya slurped a mouthful of noodles and the broth splashed his shirt. He patted it dry with a napkin and set the chopsticks down. “Not a Reaper, not a Player. You’re not an angel and you certainly aren’t the type to be a head guy. I got it. You’re one of the new Game Masters.”

“Aren’t they supposed to be Reapers first?” Joshua took a bite, melted inside, and exhaled.

“Shit.”

He smiled. It was nice sitting with someone who wasn’t Megumi or Sanae. “I am but a breath in the wind and of little importance.”

“Meh,” Kariya said, “I suppose it’s not important.”

Joshua shook his head. They continued to eat in silence. There was music overhead and the owner of the restaurant sang in a gruff voice from the kitchen. People came and went, and Joshua noticed certain trends and fashions. In the restaurant, Joshua felt alive. He felt human.

“Aight. Pay up, shorty.”

“Excuse me?” Joshua folded his arms. “I am not that short.”

Kariya snorted. “C’mon, you’re paying.”

“Yes, yes. Don’t get your hair in a bind.” Joshua opened his wallet and handed the cash over. “It was fun hanging out with you, though I still know very little. Perhaps we could join up later in the week and you can tell me all about your illustrious career as a Harrier.”

“You didn’t tell me your name.”

“Oh, I was rude, wasn’t I? It’s-“ he paused. What if he wasn’t supposed to tell? “Joshua. You can call me Joshua.”

“Koki Kariya. Nice to meet you and thanks for the meal.”

Joshua nodded. He left the Reaper lounging in the booth as he exited the restaurant.

The city was loud when Joshua stepped out onto the sidewalk. He watched people pass by and the heaviness of Noise floated in the air. A few Noise hung around a few people, but it was necessary to have a little negativity. The Players would take care of it in the next Game.

Though it was only midday, the skies were dark with thick rain clouds and a sprinkle of rain began to drizzle onto the citizens. Many of them had umbrellas, but Joshua did not. He liked the feel of the rain on his face and the sound of the droplets hitting his hair.

Somehow he found himself in the Scramble Crossing in front of the 104 building. He stared at the large screen above and watched a couple of advertisements before entering the store. Though he could have simply called forth whatever he wanted to wear, there was something to be said about having salespeople wait on him.

He was never a fan of D+B, or Wild Boar, but he did like a few of the Mus Rattus designs. They were causal and comfortable, and though being a Composer had taught him about dressing properly, he didn’t feel up to dealing with the snobs in the high end stores.

“Welcome!”

Joshua smiled at the short, chubby salesgirl. She was happy and bright, and her clothes were perfectly matched with accessories. He waved and closed the distance between them.

“Howdy. I was hoping you could point me in the direction of your latest shirts.”

The girl beamed and tugged Joshua toward one corner at the front of the store. It was lined with long sleeves, short sleeves, and button ups. There were sweaters and tank tops with matching shorts. He was surrounded by color and a beachy vibe.

“I think, with your complexion and skin tone, you should lean more toward faded colors. Here’s a soft blue shirt we just got in,” she said, holding a short sleeved shirt with shells at the collar up to Joshua. “Hm, you might not look too good in it…the shells are a bit much…”

Joshua said nothing as she went through shirts and slacks. He stood at the ready, letting her choose what she wanted. She had a nice style, at least.

“Here we are. If you want, you can try them on,” she offered, pointing at the dressing rooms in the back of the store.

“No thank you,” Joshua said. He saw a look of defeat cross her features. “Oh, worry not, dear. I trust you chose the best and I would like to purchase it all.”

She glowed. The music around her soared and she squealed happily to the register to ring him up.

Joshua laughed behind a hand and watched as she enthusiastically scanned several shirts and a few pairs of pants and shorts. There was even a couple of skirts mixed in, and a hat Joshua was sure he’d look silly in, but it was cute.

“Here’s your total!” She pointed at the screen. “Cash or charge?”

“I have a card,” he said, and slid it through the reader. It would be the first time he used it. Megumi had given it to him with a wallet filled with money. Composers made a lot of money and there was no way Joshua could spend it all. He watched the reader beep and display accepted.

“Do you need help with your bags?”

He shook his head. There were five in total, and he gathered them up in both hands. “Thank you. I hope to see you around real soon.”

“Thank you, sir. I, uh,” she blushed, “left my number on your receipt. In case you need to return anything!”

The last was said in a panic. Joshua grinned. “Well, now. Isn’t that polite of you? I’ll be sure to call.”

She giggled and bounced behind the counter. “I look forward to it.”

As soon as Joshua left the store he ducked into an alleyway and sent his purchases into the music of Shibuya to be delivered to his apartment. The receipt, however, he kept, and he read the number under the scribbled name with hearts surrounding it.

_Perhaps tonight_ , Joshua thought, _I should make another connection._

\----------------------------------------------------------

Several hours had passed since Hanekoma checked on Joshua. He was being awfully quiet in the throne room. It either meant he wasn’t in there and left his energy to mislead, or he was and he had fallen asleep reading his book.

Hanekoma hoped for the latter, but he wasn’t surprised when he found the room empty.

With a grumble, Hanekoma sought Joshua’s energy out.

Oh. No wonder Joshua didn’t want to be found. But it wasn’t safe for him to be having sex with a random citizen of Shibuya so close to his ascension. What if his wings came out? What if, in the middle of playing around, he slipped into his Composer form?

Hanekoma didn’t want to be a voyeur. He didn’t want to watch Joshua getting it on, but he had to keep a line on him just in case. Remote viewing would probably be best, and Hanekoma settled down on the couch in the Pad before attempting it.

He saw a mousy brunette underneath Joshua. They were-of course-both naked to the world except for a blanket covering Joshua’s hips and further down. Joshua’s energy was elated and he made strange, confused noises as he continued.

His movements slowed, and the girl beneath him begged.

“One moment, love,” he said fluidly.

A blinding migraine hit Hanekoma in the eyes and he snarled when the connection broke.

He rubbed at his face and eyes until he could see again, and when he could, a disheveled Joshua stood in front of him.

The Composer’s skin was still flushed with sweat and the afterglow of passion, and his shirt was buttoned two buttons off. He glared at Hanekoma.

“How dare you. I was busy. You haven’t the right to pry into my personal life.”

“I was worried, kid,” Hanekoma continued to massage his temples. “Yer awfully young to be-“

“You are not my father,” Joshua hissed. “I have it under control. She won’t remember a thing when I’m done with her. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have quite a few things planned and I don’t want to keep her waiting in an empty bed. Go away.”

He disappeared with a displacement of air.

Hanekoma grunted in pain. The headache throbbed between his eyes. It was his own fault really. He should have nudged first or sent a text message or something.

“Fuck all,” he swore. It would take at least an hour for the pain to subside. If it wasn’t for his like of the little asshole of a Composer, he would have fought back. But Joshua seemed to be doing just fine.

However, once the headache passed and Joshua was done teasing an innocent person, Hanekoma had full intent on punishing him in someway somehow.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six – Positioning

 

Sitting in front of his vanity, Joshua fluffed his damp hair and brushed it with his fingers. A thin robe hung around his frame and it fell open to his lap. He smiled at his reflection and turned his head as the door to the bathroom clicked open.

The cheery face of his current situation came to hug him from behind. “Morning~!”

Joshua grinned and tilted his mouth up to kiss the girl. She tasted like sleep but it didn’t bother Joshua in the slightest. The girl hadn’t dressed yet, and he could smell his scent all over her curves.  “Yes, it certainly is, my dear.”

“Do you mind if I borrow the shower? I have a shift in fifteen-“

“Don’t go,” Joshua said. It wasn’t that he wanted her to stay-quite the opposite-but he had better plans for her than slaving away in a clothing store. “I want to give you a present.”

“Aw, Joshua, that’s so sweet,” she giggled. “You’ve already given me a great night and breakfast! There’s nothing else you need to get me.”

“Nonsense.” Joshua twirled up from the chair and shrugged his robe around his chest. “We were talking last night about your future.”

She paused in the middle of taking her socks off. “Uh. Oh, right. You were doing that one thing with your hips…”

Joshua purred as he remembered. “Yes, and you were doing that one thing with your tongue. However, we did discuss your life here in Shibuya. I believe it was in the middle of an orgasm…but was it yours or mine?”

Her face flushed. “I think it was both of us.”

“It was,” Joshua said, pretending to remember. “If I recall, you have a younger sister and no parents, correct?”

“Y-yeah,” she replied, standing in the shower. The water caressed her body and Joshua felt jealous. “Don’t worry about, sweetie. We’ll be fine.”

Joshua licked his lips. “I want to send you to France.”

Tension rose in the bathroom. The girl continued to wash as if she hadn’t heard, but it was obvious she was nervous. When she finished the shower squeaked off and she stood frozen, body dripping.

“I can’t accept that, I have to take care of my sister and-“

“You are worth more than you think. I can see the promise you hold. The way you dress and present yourself is a delight to Shibuya, but your talents would serve another much better. Perhaps in the future you can return, but I know of an internship in France. All of your expenses will be paid until you have gotten used to your surroundings. You can take your sister with you.”

She trembled. Her eyes welled with tears and she shook her head. “You shouldn’t tease me. It’s cruel and I’ll never be able to afford it.”

“I’m not teasing you.” He closed the distance between them, cupped the girl’s face in his hands, and gave her a shy kiss. “You see what I have here. I want you to have this and more. Please? It would make me happy to know you and your sister are cared for.”

“I don’t understand. Why?”

Joshua slid his hands to hold hers. “You were kind to me. Kindness deserves to be rewarded.”

“But you don’t even know me.”

He kissed her cheek. “Does it matter?”

“I guess not,” she stammered. A gasp escaped her lips and she kissed Joshua’s throat. “I’m going to be late to work.”

Joshua grinned like a demon. He pressed her into the wall and kissed her hard. Though he knew it was wrong and he knew the others would be livid at him, he twined his music into the girl’s and forced her mind to accept his proposal. He knew she would be happy in France. What harm could come of forcing someone to be happy?

“Joshua,” she sighed, arched her neck, and he bit into the skin. “Please don’t.”

“Ah, right, we shouldn’t get messy again, should we?” Joshua pretended to reach into his vanity to pull out papers, but they appeared in his hand. “Here. I want you to take this and follow the instructions.”

The girl appeared drugged but she smiled and took the papers. “Are you sure? It’s okay?”

“It’s quite okay. I left my number in your phone and I will be in contact with you throughout your adjustment. Please be happy, dear.”

“You still haven’t called me by my name.”

He flinched. “Forgive me. I’m terrible with names.”

“Josh, you’re too good, you know that?” She smiled, gave him a peck on the cheek, and hurried from the bathroom. “I’ll be sure to call you later today! I just gotta grab my clothes.”

“Sure, sure,” he called after her. The sound of her whirling around the apartment was background noise to Joshua as he returned his attention to his face in the vanity. He patted his face with a soft towel and fluffed his hair once more.

He pondered what to wear. Silence surrounded him and he couldn’t feel the girl in his apartment.

It felt terrible, but Joshua couldn’t remember her name at all. Even the receipt, with her number on it, had been discarded. The music he used to send her away would replace Joshua’s memory with a random someone she wouldn’t give two thoughts to.

It was for the safety of Shibuya.

His phone began to ring and he looked down to see Sanae’s number. Hitting the call button he clicked it to speaker and gave a cheery, “Howdy, Sanae.”

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, kid?”

Joshua paused in brushing his hair. “What do you mean? I’m completely innocent.”

“The hell you are,” Sanae said, growling into the phone. “You can’t just fuck someone and discard them like trash, Josh.”

“I didn’t. I’m sending her to France.”

“Are you gonna do that with everyone you screw around with?”

Joshua groaned. “If you’re going to admonish me, do it in person.”

The phone beeped as the call dropped and a cool tickle of air announced Sanae’s presence.

“Good morning, Sanae. I had a wonderful night.” He smiled at his Producer and dropped his robe to the floor. Joshua knew it drove the man insane to see him naked. “Oops.”

Sanae whipped around to face the wall. “Kid, I’m warnin’ ya…”

“I’m sure you are,” Joshua teased. “I handled it. She’s going to go away and I won’t have to worry about her popping up. Also, she’s going to help out in France, which should help relations between our regions.”

“Did you come up with that when your pants were off or before?”

Joshua giggled. “Before, actually. We had a light dinner and one thing led to another while we talked about her life and future. She’s an interesting creature. I would say she’s good in bed but she’s my first. You were right about pleasure in the UG. I think I almost blacked out.”

“What was her name?”

He frowned. “Sanae, you really know how to ruin a mood.”

“You can’t remember can you?”

Joshua stared at the back of Sanae’s head. He reached out to touch the cowlick at the barista’s neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to live eternity as a virgin. The booklet said I could have sexual encounters. It said I could many if I wanted.”

A sigh. The Producer turned to face him. “Josh, y’gotta stop and think first. You can’t fuck people and send them away to other places. Shibuya’ll be emptied in no time.”

“I’m glad you have that much faith in my sexual prowess, but I doubt I can fuck my way through an entire city. Besides, people are always being born so eventually I’ll have more people to fuck.”

“Joshua I swear to God.”

“Does that still work if I’m technically a god?”

Sanae narrowed his eyes. He flicked Joshua on the forehead. “You ain’t a god, you’re an asshole.”

“Aw, you think so highly of me,” Joshua teased. He leaned up to kiss Sanae’s stubble before walking around him. Entering the hallway, Joshua began to hum as he gathered up the clothes he’d strewn about the apartment in the middle of his encounter. He could hear the angel behind him but he paid him no mind.

“Lord Composer,” Megumi said from the couch. “I see you’ve been busy.”

“Oh, Megumi, I didn’t feel you come in. How have you been?”

The Conductor refused to look at him. “Shibuya is quite pleased with you, Joshua. Your Producer, not so much.”

“I know,” he said with a glance over his shoulder at the fuming angel. “Oh, lighten up, Sanae. It was just a little fling.”

Sanae wasn’t assured. He folded his arms and followed Joshua all the way into the bedroom. “How many flings are you gonna need?”

“Mm, it still smells nice in here.” Joshua threw his closet open. The series of outfits he’d bought from the salesgirl he’d bedded were hanging in order. She had helped him coordinate them. “Are you going to murder me, Sanae? Do I need to wear white?”

“At this point I don’t think you can,” the angel teased, but his expression remained sour.

Joshua laughed. He picked an outfit from the closet and tossed it onto the messy bed. “What’s on the agenda today? Death and rebirth, again?”

The angel grumbled as he leaned against the wall. He snapped his fingers to clean up the room and dress Joshua. “There. Better.”

“Jerk,” Joshua huffed. “Are you going to make me coffee, too? I hope not. It’s terrible.”

“Hey, take that back.”

“I’ll take it back. If you can take back all the stomach upset your coffee gave me.”

“You son of a bitch.”

Joshua narrowed his eyes playfully. “My mother wasn’t a bitch. You can call me a bastard, if you wish. I hate my father.”

From the living area, he could hear Megumi laughing under his breath.

“You shut up,” Sanae shot toward the Conductor. “This ain’t about you.”

Joshua shoved Sanae out of the way. “Come on now, boys. We have a city to run. Megumi, are there any new editions to the next Game?”

“Unfortunately, sir, of those who have passed there wasn’t one person worthy of the chance.”

He pouted. “I hope that’s not the case next week. Perhaps today we should hang out. We could get to know each other outside of work. I barely know you, Megumi.”

“There isn’t much to know,” Megumi said quickly. “It isn’t important.”

“Don’t degrade yourself. You’re my Conductor. You are just as important to this city as I am. Sanae and his coffee, however…”

“Shut up or I’ll Erase ya m’self!”

Joshua giggled. It was so much fun to tease his mentor. “Fine, fine. I want to be hands on with my sweet Shibuya. Every single day I want a report on a random citizen of the positive and negative regard. If I can keep abreast of the ever-changing energy, we might have more Players.”

“Sir, it’s unprecedented-“ Megumi started to argue but he bit his lip. “Sir, you are an anomaly.”

“You think so? Sanae used to say that about me when I was alive. It’s a good thing I’m consistent. Now, go out there and make me a list. I want details. Sanae, since you are my Producer, I want a report on the newest trends and those that may fizzle out.”

The two men didn’t move. They said nothing as they stared at him as if he’d grown wings.

Wait. No, horns, maybe.

“I know, it’s a lot of work.”

“Sir,” Megumi rose from the couch, “it isn’t the work. It’s…you’re…”

“What he’s tryin’ ta say is you’ve changed a bit since the beginning. Are ya sure you’re okay?”

Joshua blinked in confusion. “Okay? Why wouldn’t I be okay? I feel alive. I feel the music of the city flowing through my veins and for once in my existence I have purpose and a use for my power. Now, go. Do my bidding, little ones.”

Despite looking annoyed, Sanae winked out along with Megumi, leaving Joshua alone.

He hated the silence. It used to comfort him and now it felt oppressive. With a curl of notes, Joshua turned on the television and selected a channel with a random educational program. He flopped down on the couch and crossed one leg over the other as he relaxed.

The show was interesting enough, but Joshua needed something to do with his fingers. Shibuya had been asking him to create art, and though he considered sex a form of art, she didn’t. He wiggled his fingers and pursed his lips. Drawing, writing, or sculpting didn’t sound fun at the moment.

“Oh, no, absolutely not, Shibuya.”

The city pulsed beneath his skin.

“Fine, I suppose it’ll have to do,” he sighed.

A basket of balled yarn and a collection of hooks and needles appeared on the coffee table. He took a ball of blue yarn and a hook that said G on the side. The yarn twisted around the hook with a skill he knew he didn’t possess, but Shibuya worked through him while he listened to the television.

“So this is crochet?” He watched his fingers make the correct motions as he worked in the round. “Are you going to let me learn, or are you going to do it for me?”

His fingers continued.

“Shibuya, I love you, but wouldn’t it make sense if I knew-“

Instructions flooded his mind. There was a grouping of abbreviations and random symbols alongside images of finished projects. From one second to the next he turned from beginner to advanced. His hands fell limp in his lap as Shibuya wandered away, and Joshua stared at the yarn.

“Chain three,” he said, and paused. “Chain…what an interesting idea for the Game.”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven – Maintain

 

There was a room at the end of the hall where the bathroom was that Joshua hadn’t gone in. The bathroom was to the left, a blank wall to the right, and at the end a door in darkness. He wasn’t sure why it hadn’t occurred to him to look inside. It was his apartment. He had decorated all of the other rooms.

With a swallow of nervous energy, Joshua placed one hand on the door and one hand on the knob. The door popped as it opened inward and the room inside was pitch black. He fumbled for the light switch and found none.

“Hello?” He said, instantly regretting it at how stupid it sounded. There weren’t any windows and he couldn’t see a single thing in the room. Raising his hand he formed a little ball of glowing light.

It startled him to the doorway when the light exploded into little sparks. The sparks flew up to the ceiling and lit an odd looking chandelier in the middle. He surveyed the room from one end to the other, marveling at the many things he could get into.

It was a craft room. Joshua had a funny thought to call it a creation chamber but he wasn’t sure why.

There was a sewing machine-state of the art-on the left in the back corner. Directly to his left in the opposite corner was a drawing table and all sorts of instruments and pencils. Across from the door in the right back corner was a computer and shelves of books on writing alongside equipment to make music electronically. The only other thing in the room was to his left, next to the doorway.

It was a simple piano. Shiny brown with gold details. He’d seen such a piano in the basement at the church he used to attend. The youth leader would play it to accompany the children’s choir.

He ran a hand along the smooth finish and sat down on the leather topped bench. The wood creaked as he opened the door for the keys and his fingers splayed over them. He had always wanted to learn how to play piano, but he didn’t have the time between his mother’s health and his schoolwork.

Curious, Joshua pressed one of the many white keys to hear a perfectly tuned note.

Why didn’t Sanae and Megumi tell him about this room? Why give him a box of art and tell him to create in the living area if such a room existed?

He thought on it, ignored whatever it could be, and began to play a simple song. His fingers slid over the keys without precision, but the longer he played the clearer the music became. Shibuya was working through him again and instead of fighting her, he let the music flow from his fingers.

It was beautiful. He wasn’t sure what song it was, but it was beautiful.

The only thing to interrupt his playing was the buzzing of his phone in his back pocket. He paused to consider not answering, but in the end he relented and retrieved the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, kiddo, what’cha up to?”

“Sanae, this better be important. I’m busy.”

The barista chuckled. “Right. Just checkin’ in wit’ ya. Everythin’ okay? You’ve been withdrawn ever since that girl left.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Joshua said quickly. “Sanae, why didn’t you tell me about the room with the piano?”

A long pause. “What room with the piano?”

“Don’t be an asshole. The room down the hall from the bathroom. It has so many things in here that I can create with. Why bring me a box if-“

The call dropped. Joshua stared at the screen. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest when Sanae appeared to his left in the doorway. “Jesus Christ. Don’t do that.”

He didn’t say anything at first. The angel wandered around the room, touching random things. He hummed in approval and grinned. “Heck, kid. Most Composers don’t unlock this room for a year.”

Joshua felt like he was in the middle of a video game-achievement unlocked. He stood up from the piano and closed the door to the keys. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Weeell, lemme put it this way,” Sanae said, “Shibuya makes you create. You already knew that. In the first few months of your tenure as Composer, she feels ya out. She sees what y’can do. Once she’s got ya down this room opens up. An inspired Composer fills the energy of the city with creativity.”

Joshua glanced back at the piano. “Sanae, why do you think I’m doing as well as I am? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with Shibuya?”

The barista stared at him for a full minute before breaking out in laughter. “Shit, kid. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with you.”

“Why do I feel like such a,” he tried to think of a good word, “failure as a person?”

Sanae’s eyes lost their sparkle and he frowned. “Josh-“

“Is this what I’ve suffered my entire life for? To be alone in the service of a living city?”

“Kid, bein’ a Composer is about change. It’s about life. You should be happy-“

“I’m not happy,” he whispered. “I’m not happy, Sanae. I thought I would be if I could change things and make the city great and yet there is this hole in my heart. I want to be happy. I want the city to reflect the happiness. Why am I so miserable?”

A sigh. Sanae wrapped an arm around Joshua’s shoulders. “You’re puttin’ too much on at once. Shibuya understands it’s hard. Y’gotta give her a chance.”

Joshua titled his head down. He stared at his socks and his toes curling against the soundproof floor. Without a word, he moved away from Sanae and walked slowly down the hall to the doors of the balcony. Outside the city was glowing and a few birds were hopping along the balcony edge.

He wished he could be a bird-carefree with the only worry being shelter and food.

“I’m going out. I need to be around someone.”

Sanae had followed behind him. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest. “You aren’t gonna find someone to screw around with are ya?”

“If I do,” he whirled around, “it’s my business, not yours.”

“Kid-“

“Don’t ‘kid’ me. I am a Composer. I’m not a child and I deserve a distraction.” He opened the balcony doors wide and crossed the patio to stand on the wall. Spreading his arms to the world he fell forward with his wings outstretched.

In the distance he heard Sanae make a comment about using a door. He ignored it.

Before hitting the ground he swooped into an empty alleyway and transitioned from the UG to the RG into his smaller, more human form. The clothes he wore were simple-a light blue button up and a pair of track pants with grey lines up the sides. He fluffed his hair and walked out into the world to seek comfort in a random citizen of Shibuya.

This time, Joshua thought, I’ll go over to their place.

Perhaps if he didn’t disclose much information about himself, he could keep a companion for longer.

Joshua flowed into the crowd at the Scramble Crossing and stretched his energy out to feel the many people in the crowd. A multitude of voices echoed in his skull and he found many of the people to be rather amusing. He smiled, nearly laughed, and crossed the street to the statue of Hachiko.

Tiny groups of twos and threes were milling about. Joshua took a seat and crossed one leg over the other as he scanned the crowd for someone to speak to.

A boy caught his eye. He was lanky and darker skinned than Joshua was. His eyes were almonds and his hair a mop of messy locks. Joshua was transfixed. He followed the boy through the streets of Shibuya until the restaurant where he worked. It smelled of spices and boiling hot dogs.

He took a seat at the back with a clear view to the counter.

The boy was laughing and talking to his co-workers as he tugged on an apron. He stood at the register ringing people up and serving them food. The light in his energy and the cheeriness of his voice lifted Joshua’s mood.

He pulled a sketchbook out of thin air when no one was looking and began to draw the boy in the finest detail he could. It wasn’t long before the crowds left and there were only two people remaining.

Joshua in the back, and a random girl in the front. She tossed her wrappers away and exited the restaurant with the chime of a bell.

The pop music playing on the speakers was a bit irritating, but every time Joshua saw the boy in the back he relaxed. At least, he did until the boy began mopping the floor, growing ever closer to the booth where Joshua sat drawing.

“Bienvenidos,” he said happily. “Did you need anything?”

Joshua froze. He stammered a quick apology. “No, no. I was just leave-“

“Is that me?” The boy tilted his head. “You’re really good.”

“You’re not…weirded out by it?”

The boy grinned. “Goodness no. I think it’s cute, just like you.”

Joshua smiled weakly. He reminded himself that it was because of being Composer that he attracted people so easily. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t.

“I’m Joshua,” he said suddenly. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hiro,” the boy smiled, “nice to meet you.”

“I suppose I should go,” Joshua said, pretending to look at his watch. “If I caused you concern-“

“Are you going to sign it?”

Joshua blinked. “I beg pardon?”

“Are you going to sign it before giving it to me to remember you by?”

“Oh,” he whispered. Without thought he scribbled his name on the paper and tore it from the sketchbook to hand to him. “Here you are.”

Hiro smiled gently. He held the paper as if it was gold. “Thanks. Do you eat here often?”

“Not really. But I might if you’re here.”

The energy around them seemed to dance until it became a single line of connection. Joshua felt emboldened as the music thrummed like a guitar string.

“I work the same shift four days in a row. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” Hiro said. “Of course, we could meet outside of work.”

Joshua didn’t know what to do. He looked up at the boy, who was at least several inches taller than he was. “Perhaps in the future?”

“It’s a date,” Hiro said. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and pulled on Joshua’s hand. With a quickness Joshua couldn’t avoid, Hiro wrote a number over his veins. “Just in case.”

He gently drew his arm back. “Thank you. Tomorrow then?”

“Same time, same place.”

Joshua smiled. He felt a warmth in his chest similar to the warmth he felt with his previous fixation. Before leaving the restaurant he ordered take out and gave his compliments to the owner on Hiro’s amazing ability as a waiter.

Outside, he held the food in one hand and his cup in the other, taking sips every now and again as he walked toward Cat Street. The café was open, he could feel it, and there were at least a couple people aside from Sanae inside. He peered through the glass and pushed the door open with his hip.

“Welcome, boss,” Sanae said from the counter. He eyed the food but said nothing.

“Don’t call me that.” Joshua settled at the bar and pulled a hot dog from the bag. He dug out a fork and began eating slowly, taking time to savor the spicy meat. “Oh, dear. This is delicious.”

“It looks like a hot mess.”

Joshua giggled around a mouthful of food. He swallowed and grinned. “Maybe that’s the reason your food tastes like dirt. It’s too pretty.”

“Asshole,” Sanae returned. He wiped the counter down, waved to the two girls as they left the café, and frowned at the streaks on the bar. “So, why don’t you use the door?”

“It’s more fun to fall.” He took another bite. “You should try it sometime. You have wings-albeit smaller. I could shove you from the balcony if it helps.”

The barista narrowed his eyes and tossed the rag behind him to land in the sink. “You’re bein’ a bit playful today. Don’t tell me, you hooked up with someone already?”

“Not exactly.” Joshua turned his wrist over to display the name and number. “I’ve been propositioned for a date. I’m taking it slow this time. I know, I know, Composers aren’t supposed to have friends or lovers, but I want to have a little fun.”

“Just be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt when you have to give ‘im up.”

Joshua set the plastic fork down next to the half eaten hot dog. He patted his mouth with a napkin. “Sanae…how do you do it?”

“It’s a bit complicated. I’m not supposed to let anyone know who I am but I’m allowed more freedom than you.” The man turned away to mix a coffee on the counter behind. “It’s gets easier. Eventually you’ll meet other Composers and you can have fun wit’ them.”

“Freedom is a luxury,” he whispered. Suddenly he didn’t feel hungry. “What about Megumi?”

“Conductors aren’t as tied to the UG as Composers. Though Megs doesn’t do the whole friendship thing outside of work. You’re his Composer and he’d do anythin’ to make ya happy.”

Joshua pulled on the straw in his cup. It squeaked as it went up and down. “Sanae, is it alright if I stay with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Sure, kiddo. We can stay up an’ talk or y’can use the studio.”

“I want to watch you paint. I know you tag at night to avoid contact with people. You’ve been planning a new mural in Udagawa haven’t you?” Joshua felt a bit more cheery when thinking about Sanae’s amazing abilities to imprint artwork. “The work you’ve done in the River is exceptional. I wish I had the talent to do what you do.”

“It’s a Producer thing,” Sanae explained. “Composers can do it, they just got other outlets. I saw you’d started crochetin’.”

“Oh, right, that reminds me!” Joshua leaned on the bar, ignoring the food. “I want to make it possible to chain Noise battles. Currently, there are only single battles, but if the Players could chain battles with Noise, they could earn better scores and clear areas in no time. What do you think?”

“I like it. Maybe I’ll make some pins,” he said, interest glinting in his eyes, “an’ the Noise can drop them for those who get through enough. But there’s gotta be a limit. Say, five.”

“To start, let’s chain three and see how it works.”

Sanae grinned. “Good idea, boss. See? Yer a natural.”

“Ah, yes,” he took a sip of his soda, “being alone my entire life I have acquired the skills to be a powerful shut in.”

“J, y’gotta stop focusin’ on the negative. Tonight I’ll show ya somethin’ special. I think you’ll like it.”

Joshua cracked half a smile. “I can’t wait. I need a distraction.”

The ink on his arm had begun to itch.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Ver 2. Edited.)

Chapter Eight – Dancing

 

Joshua stood in front of the Udagawa mural in the middle of the day, one week after Sanae had refreshed the images. He could feel the imprinting and the pull on the city to come together. But Joshua wasn’t waiting for a random citizen. He was waiting for Hiro.

They had been dating for a couple of weeks. Joshua hadn’t done anything too forward. He’d found Hiro was a sweet boy with a soft spot for animals. In the boy’s apartment, he owned several cats, two dogs, and a box of kittens. The apartment had rules against it, but Hiro paid the landlord off to keep his rescue unreported.

Joshua hadn’t really kept a pet before, aside from the fish in the Pad, and to be surrounded by tumbling furballs of energy was a strange experience. The two boys had spread out on the floor and let the animals walk all over them.

He could still feel the tiny paws on his face and the memory made Joshua smile.

“Joshua!”

Turning toward the voice, Joshua lit up. “Hello! I’m glad you could make it.”

“No problem,” Hiro said, “I’d go anywhere with you.”

Joshua giggled. “Aren’t you smooth?”

“I don’t know, am I?” Hiro grinned and tilted toward Joshua to kiss his cheek. “So this is the Udagawa mural, huh? I don’t really come by here much.”

“Oh? I love to come by here. There are so many little details in the work. I hear CAT comes by to repaint the mural every few weeks or so. You know who he is, right?”

“Who doesn’t know CAT? I have some of his albums. The kittens seem to like it.” Hiro walked toward the mural to place a hand on it. There were several band aids on his fingers from the animals and small burns from work. “I wonder who they are?”

“Probably a disillusioned old man,” Joshua teased. He stepped closer to place his fingers on a line. The imprinting pulsed against his fingertips. “Or perhaps it’s a group of teenagers. No one really knows.”

Hiro traced his finger down a curve to touch Joshua’s. “It must be nice to be so popular.”

“Why? Popularity can be destructive. Look at the Prince,” he said, removing his hand from the mural to curl around Hiro’s. “There is something to be said about being part of a crowd.”

“I guess.” Hiro turned to smile at Joshua. “Do you want to come over to my place? The kittens are weaned and I’m trying to find them a home.”

“That won’t be too hard. They’re adorable. Especially the one with the white tuft on his head. If only I had the attention and time to give. I’m terrible with caring for things. I don’t even have a plant.”

Hiro laughed. “I’ll have to buy you one. You like pink, right? Maybe I’ll get you a flowering cactus.”

“Yes, I should start small with something hard to kill,” Joshua agreed with a giggle. “Alright, let’s go over to your place. I would take you home with me but…I’m nervous.”

“Why?” Hiro’s expression fell serious. “You’re not in a bad situation are you?”

Joshua felt a shiver of warmth in his heart. The boy was such a sweetheart to worry for him. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s just…the last person I had over didn’t work out. I want to take it slow.”

“I can do that,” Hiro assured. “I can take it as slow as you need me to.”

“Thank you.” Joshua hesitantly pressed against him. “You’re precious to me.”

Hiro kissed the top of his head. “Same.”

Closing his eyes, Joshua burned the memory into his brain. The touch of Hiro’s rough hands on his skin and the smell of Hiro’s shirt. He squeezed his eyes tighter and fought to ignore the want to cry.

He would lose him. It was inevitable.

But Joshua didn’t want to think about it. He sighed, wrapped his arms around Hiro’s waist, and stood still for what should have been eternity.

“Let’s go home. I’ll help you make up a flyer for the kittens.”

Hiro stroked his back. “I’d like that. I’m terrible with computers.”

“I’ll have to teach you, then.” Joshua tilted his head up. He gave Hiro a drowsy look and the boy kissed him on the mouth. It deepened almost immediately and Joshua tugged on Hiro’s shirt. “Wait…ah…”

“Sorry. There’s just something about you that drives me crazy.”

Joshua gave Hiro a bittersweet smile. “It’s alright. Let’s go.”

The boy nodded and they walked arm in arm toward Hiro’s apartment.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Yer still seein’ ‘im?”

Joshua twirled on the barstool at the café. He didn’t want to answer. The barista already knew the truth about Joshua’s relationship. It was obvious from the mood Joshua was in.

“Four weeks, two days, and several minutes,” Joshua said mid-twirl. “I don’t suppose there is a limit on the amount of time I’m allowed?”

“Y’shouldn’t have even had that much.” Sanae frowned, wiped a cup dry, and set it down on the counter in front of Joshua. “I find it odd y’ain’t fucked ‘im yet.”

Joshua stuck his tongue out. “I am trying to take it slow. It’s like savoring a fine glass of wine. You don’t just gulp it down. You take little sips and let the liquid roll over your tongue.”

“Romantic, I guess,” Sanae said. He poured coffee into the clean cup and pushed it toward Joshua. “You’ve got a Game this week. Y’gotta stay indoors until the seventh day.”

“Ugh. I hate Game weeks,” he grumbled, taking a small sip of the coffee. It was bitter and too hot, but the burning sensation on Joshua’s tongue made him feel alive. “What if I wanted to bring Hiro over to my apartment to stay the week?”

Sanae paused in counting his register. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I’ll wait until the seventh day, then. It’ll be five weeks,” he said happily, taking another drink. “This time I’m not giving him up. Even if I have to kill him, I want to keep him.”

“That wouldn’t be fair to ‘im, and it’s against the rules.”

“Oh, Sanae,” Joshua nudged the cup toward him, “when have we worried about the rules?”

The barista narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want you gettin’ in trouble.”

Joshua hopped off the barstool and walked toward the door. “It’s far too late for that.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five weeks.

Joshua feared for the moment Hiro stepped into his apartment. He paced the living area and down the hall to his creation chamber several times before a soft knock rang out on the door. Joshua fluffed his hair and patted down his green sweater over the yellow shirt beneath. “Yes?”

“It’s me, Joshua,” Hiro’s voice was muffled through the door. “Can I come in?”

Taking a deep breath, Joshua called back, “it’s open!”

The door swung open slowly, and Hiro peered inside of the apartment as if worried. He held a blooming cactus in his hand. It was pink.

“Wow. Is this your parents’ place or something?”

Joshua giggled, trying to lighten the mood. “No, it’s all mine. I work for two very powerful men.”

“You must be good at whatever it is you do because holy crap,” Hiro said, stepping into the apartment. He didn’t move past the door.

“Come on in, you’re not going to sully the place. There’s a pair of slippers or you can wear your socks without them. I don’t mind.”

Hiro set the plant down on the table next to the door before nudging his shoes off with his feet. He closed the door, expression wide and curious as it scanned the apartment.

“I have snacks in the kitchen if you’re hungry. We could order in, or I could cook for you.”

The boy shook his head. He ran a hand over the back of the couch. “Is this suede? It’s soft.”

“I’m not sure. I saw it in a magazine. Why don’t you get comfortable? I’ll bring you something to drink if you want. I have milk, juice, water-“

“Do you have beer?” Hiro was still in awe as he glanced from one detail to the next. His attention hovered over a drawing Joshua did. It hung next to the television and was covered in startling hues. “Wow, you did that yourself?”

“Yes,” Joshua said. He wagged his fingers while Hiro wasn’t look and formed two bottles of beer. “Here you are. I hope you like it.”

“My favorite brand. How’d you know?”

Joshua shrugged. “I guessed. I’m not one for beer but I do like a bottle on special occasions.”

He was lying. Hiro didn’t seem to notice.

They sat on the couch and curled together. Joshua ignored his bottle and Hiro held his in his left hand as his right was busy holding Joshua close.

“Television?” Joshua fished the remote from between the cushions. “I have a lot of channels.”

“Hey,” Hiro looked at him lovingly, “why were you scared to show me this?”

Joshua frowned. “I thought you might think ill of me.”

He set the beer aside to run cold fingers down Joshua’s face. “I could never think ill of you.”

“Thank you,” Joshua breathed. They leaned into each other, accidentally pressing the remote between their legs. The television switched on and Joshua flinched.

Hiro grinned and fluffed Joshua’s hair. “Oops.”

“S-so, what would you like to watch?”

“Can’t I just watch you?”

Joshua swallowed hard. No, no, it was too fast.

“Don’t look so scared,” Hiro soothed. He rubbed his knuckles over Joshua’s arm. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Joshua whispered as he placed his head on Hiro’s shoulder. “I’m afraid of losing you.”

Hiro tilted Joshua’s head up with a hand under his chin. “I’m not leaving you. I love you.”

It was the first time Joshua had heard those words in a long time. He melted. It was foolish and he knew it would hurt more in the future, but he returned the words in kind. “I love you.”

“Do you think we could kiss?” Hiro brushed his lips against Joshua’s forehead. “We can watch television later, right?”

Joshua trembled. He didn’t want it to end so soon. He didn’t want to lose Hiro.

His heart screamed at him to stop. His head shouted for him to pull away.

But his music intertwined with Hiro’s and Joshua found he couldn’t get close enough.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Joshua Kiryu - First Year Tenure_

_The following is an informal report on the state of Shibuya’s Composer._

_I am not well._

_It was five weeks ago. I met a boy around my age. We talked. I found myself frequenting his place of work. He called me out on it and we skirted around the issue of mutual attraction._

_I went home with him. It was friendly, at first, but over time we hung out more and more. I had a companion and I was happy._

_Two weeks ago I took him into my bed. We made love. It wasn’t sex. It was pure pleasure. I fed him sweet treats and caressed his skin with rose petals. We got drunk on rich wine and each other._

_I cannot remember how many times we tangled together, but I was spent by two-thirty in the morning. I watched the sun rise on the curves of his skin and I knew I couldn’t keep him._

_Knowing this, I memorized every feature of his face. I remember the lines and specks. I recall his messy dark hair and eyes so green they burned._

_We made love one last time. I kissed him and with one breath I took the memories away. I sent him home happy and filled with promise._

_I could have anyone I want. A Composer is living, breathing art._

_Despite all the power and control I possess I cannot keep another person. It wouldn’t be right for Shibuya. It wouldn’t be right for them._

_I am not well_

_I do not want to be Composer._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine - Time to Kill

 

The Producer and the Conductor were both at odds on what to do with Joshua.

It had been three weeks since he had broken it off with the boy. Hanekoma had tried to visit but Joshua refused to talk about anything but work. The discordance of Joshua’s mood was affecting Shibuya, and Megumi was more than ready to take over for Joshua if needed.

“Conductors can’t do that,” Hanekoma argued.

Megumi removed his sunglasses and rubbed a cloth against them. They were always getting streaks and spots from nowhere in particular. He blew over the glass and frowned before placing them on top of his head. “We cannot force him to participate in the next Game if he doesn’t wish to. It has only been a week since the last Game. We can always push it to next week.”

“We can’t let ‘im get away wit’ bein’ a brat.”

“He’s suffering, Sanae.” Megumi watched as his friend wandered the Pad with a stack of papers bouncing from his hands. “Stop pacing. It wouldn’t do to break the glass.”

Hanekoma glanced down at the fish. “Fuck it. I don’t care. I’m goin’ over there-“

“Allow me. He might be expecting a fight if you go,” Megumi explained. He swept his hair behind his shoulders and dropped his sunglasses back to the bridge of his nose. “If I fail, I will let you do as you please.”

“Fine. But you’ve got thirty minutes.”

Megumi laughed. “I take it you’ll be timing me?”

“Yeah,” Hanekoma grinned. “Time’s a tickin’.”

The light encircled Megumi as he transported from the River to Joshua’s apartment. He didn’t mean to be rude, but Joshua had been stubborn about letting people in.

“What do you want?” Joshua said from the couch. He was flipping through a magazine, one hand propping his head up on the arm of the sofa.

Megumi saw the television playing Tin Pin Slammer’s latest episode. He frowned. “Joshua, what are you doing?”

“Are you blind?” The boy flipped a page. “I’m reading.”

“I can see that,” Megumi said calmly. “You’ve been shut in since-“

Joshua leaned his arm on the back of the couch as he turned to glare at his Conductor. “Is this about work? If it isn’t, go away.”

“It is and it isn’t.” Megumi adjusted the headphones around his neck. He could see red lining Joshua’s eyes and his skin was more pale than usual. Despite Composers not needing sleep or food, Joshua appeared to be both exhausted and starving. “Sir, you don’t look well.”

“Of course I don’t,” Joshua sneered, “I’m dead.”

“Sir, I must request you stop acting like a child.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Joshua was up and off of the couch. He slammed the magazine down on the coffee table and snarled. “Do you have work or not?”

Megumi was unaffected. He had seen his previous Composer in the same spirit.

“If you don’t, leave. I have no time for small talk.”

He didn’t move. He kept still and quiet.

Joshua fumed. “What do you want, Megumi?”

Again, he didn’t flinch, he didn’t respond, and he remained calm.

“What,” Joshua growled, his eyes heavy, “do you want, Megumi?”

Almost. Megumi waited.

The Composer began to tremble. His eyes fluttered shut and he fell toward the couch but Megumi transported between them. He gathered Joshua against him and carried him back to the bedroom to place him in the perfectly made bed.

Megumi clicked his tongue. He tenderly stroked Joshua’s forehead and sat on the bed next to him. “Do you want the sheets on or off, sir?”

“What do you want,” he whispered, completely spent. His anger had burned out and so had he. “Why am I so tired…?”

“In the first year, sir, you need as much sleep and food as a human would. You haven’t eaten and you’ve been up since, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Joshua said quickly. “I don’t feel like eating.”

A grumble from his stomach said otherwise. Megumi laughed.

“Alright. I’m hungry. But I don’t want to eat. Everything tastes like ashes.”

Megumi ran a thumb over Joshua’s hairline and traced his index down the side of Joshua’s face. “You may think we don’t understand, but we do. It’s hard for all of us, Joshua. I had a family.”

Glowing violet eyes shimmered in the darkness. “Did they forget you?”

“Yes. I have watched them grow and I have watched them die. I have seen their children move away and I have knowledge of their fate as well. It never gets easier. You have to focus on Shibuya and the love she holds for you.”

Joshua took a deep breath. “I’m tired.”

“I know.”

He pushed up to his elbows. “Megumi, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You are strong. I believe in you,” the Conductor said softly. He pressed his thumb to Joshua’s temple and rubbed in circles.

“What’er you doing…?”

“It will help you feel better. I know it isn’t protocol for a Conductor to rewrite a Composer’s music but your melody has been shattered. Your sour mood is affecting Shibuya. She needs you to be strong.”

Joshua leaned into the touch. He smiled. “It feels good.”

“I know,” Megumi teased, “why else would I be doing it?”

A giggle. It sounded pained, but it was a start. Joshua sat up against the pillows. “I should probably eat something, right?”

“You might want to get rest first. Stay here and relax.” Megumi moved from the bed. He held up one hand to tell Joshua to wait, and he left the room to text Hanekoma.

The phone beeped immediately in response. “Do you need me?”

“No,” he replied. “Joshua is fine. He needs rest.”

“Take care of him, Megs.”

Megumi smirked. He pocketed his phone and snapped his fingers to turn the television off. The apartment fell silent and Megumi rubbed at his chin as he thought back to when he started. His Composer was kind. He had taken the time to help Megumi adjust by keeping him company.

His Composer-who had been before the one Joshua overtook-had been too kind. It was his downfall.

“Megumi? Are you coming back?”

“Yes, sir. I thought,” he flipped his hand and a chess set appeared, “we could keep each other company for the evening.”

Joshua was half off the bed, but he slid back under the sheets when he saw Megumi. “What do you have in mind? I’m a bit young for you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of touching you, Joshua. You’re far too precious.”

The boy choked on a sudden laugh. He coughed. “You are delusional but I appreciate your honesty.”

Megumi sat on the end of the bed, facing Joshua. He placed the chess set between them and moved the pieces without touch. The pieces were made of crystal and the board lit up beneath the tiles. He saw the amazement in Joshua’s eyes. “Do you like it? My original Composer gave it to me when I was adjusting.”

“I’ve never played much chess. I do like it,” he said, touching one of the smoky crystals. “Do you want to be white or black?”

“I will be white to start. It isn’t a hard game to learn.”

Joshua turned his attention to Megumi as if seeing him for the first time that evening. “Thank you.”

“You do not need to thank me, Joshua. You are my friend,” he said, “it’s what I am here for.”

The Composer smiled, nodded, and they began to play.

Throughout the game they did not speak of Hiro or the time before. They avoided anything about the Game or Composerhood. Megumi kept their conversation about chess and the history behind it. Joshua was a quick learner, but halfway through their third game he had fallen asleep mid-turn.

Megumi waved the board and pieces away before tucking Joshua in. “Goodnight, sir.”

There was a mumbled response, but Joshua was already in dreams.

The Conductor retrieved his phone and called Hanekoma. “He is sleeping. Have you paced through the floor yet?”

“I went home. I didn’t want to kill the fish.” Hanekoma’s voice went distant as he rang up a couple of customers and thanked them. “How’d you get ‘im to behave?”

“I treated him with respect and dignity.” Megumi peered over his shoulder to watch Joshua sleep. He moved toward the couch. “Should I stay here or go downstairs to my apartment?”

“Meh. He’ll poke you if he needs ya. Go get a little rest.”

“Are you coming over later?”

“Not tonight. I gotta redo the River. Some idiot kid got into the underpass and fucked it up.”

Megumi laughed softly behind one hand. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll bring coffee.”

“Excellent. I do love your coffee.”

Hanekoma snorted. “You’d be the only one.”

“Sir, if Joshua didn’t like your coffee or your food, he wouldn’t partake of it. You understand he only treats you the way he does is because you like it?”

“I do not!” He shouted and hung up the phone.

Megumi chuckled.

Being dead had it’s benefits. It was endlessly amusing.

\----------------------------------------------

The Game was going wonderfully. Joshua had found hope in focusing on his position. If he didn’t think about the loss he had suffered or the fact he wasn’t alive, his mood remained positive. Shibuya was happy and she sang to him as he cooked on his stove. He hummed along and tossed a few vegetables into the pot with the meat.

“Megumi~!” He called. The Conductor was in the bathroom washing up. “Dinner is almost ready!”

“Exceptional,” Megumi said as he appeared from the hall with a towel in his hands. “You have become an accomplished chef, sir.”

Joshua shrugged. “I suppose. It’s something to keep my mind off things. How is the Game? Tomorrow is the sixth day and Shibuya says we have more Players than usual.”

“She is correct. We started,” he paused to take a seat at the counter on a leather stool, “with sixteen Players and only four have been Erased. It is odd, but I have spoken to the Game Master and they have spoken with the Harriers. Apparently they are a highly intelligent and intuitive group.”

“I’m only bringing two back,” Joshua said. He had already decided despite not seeing the Players. The entrance fees were in a coffee can on his counter for hilarities sake. “How much do you want?”

“A small plate will suffice.”

Joshua spooned the vegetables and meat onto a white plate with fancy trim. “Enough?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you,” Megumi said. He folded his hands together, bowed his head, and whispered a prayer in a language Joshua only slightly understood.

“Do you need a drink?” Joshua dumped the rest of the pot’s contents on his own plate and set the pot into the sink. “I have all sorts of things.”

“I can make my own.”

Joshua made a face. “That’s no fun. Here, have a ginger ale. I hear they’re good for your stomach.”

“Are you trying to warn me about the state of your food?” Megumi took the bottle from Joshua. The cap popped off easily and he took a sip. “It’s…bubbly.”

“It’s from Canada. I thought you might like it.” Joshua dropped down on his stool and leaned over the plate to inhale the scent of warm meat. “Mmm. I think I outdid myself this time.”

Megumi nodded once.  “It’s delicious, sir.”

He took a small bite. “Oh! It is. What’s on the agenda for next week? Are we having another Game?”

“There have been some deaths, but it is unsure if we will meet the quota for a Game.”

Joshua shrugged. “Whatever. I thought I might go out this weekend.”

A clink of silverware made him look up. Megumi stared at him in concern.

“I’m not-“ Joshua waved his hands. “No, no, I’m not going to meet someone in the UG. In fact, I have been emailing a few of the neighboring regions and they would love to meet me. It is important to make connections to improve the Game throughout Japan and further. But we haven’t settled on a date.”

“I am glad you are doing better, Joshua. It worries me when you are unwell.”

“It worries me, too,” he teased. His phone beeped and he pressed the call button. “Hello?”

“J-J, how ya doin’?”

Joshua blinked. “Who is this?”

“Aw, shit-fire, I forgot. I’m that guy in Texas. Y’know, the Composer? People call me Tex.”

“I remember now. You forwarded that one email. It was, interesting at least.”

The man on the other end laughed boisterously. “Heck, kid, you’re makin’ me blush.”

“Not that I’m busy, but why did you call?” Joshua poked at his dinner with the fork. “Did we have a meeting or something?”

“Nah. I saw yer profile. Congrats on almost reachin’ a year.”

“A year?” Joshua looked off to the side. “I’m around eight months.”

“Y’made it that long. I’m bettin’ you’ll make twelve. In fact, I got a bet on ya, kid. Don’t get me in no trouble, y’hear?”

“I’ll try.” Joshua shook his head. “Is that the only reason you called?”

“Of course! Why? D’ya need another reason?”

“No, I don’t suppose. Thank you.”

“Keep it up, kiddo.”

The line clicked and beeped. Joshua stared at the phone before setting it down. “Texas.”

“Oh, him,” Megumi said. “He has a gambling problem.”

Joshua smiled. “I can’t disappoint him. What happens when I hit a year? Do I get a party and a tiara or do we shoot off fireworks?”

His Conductor watched him. “Sir, when you reach a year, you are sworn in by the High Council.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Joshua tapped his fingers on the counter in tune with Shibuya’s happy song. “Sanae hates the Higher Ups. I’ve never met them.”

“They are a bit…touchy. We will go over the rules before. There’s no sense in worrying about it.”

Joshua sighed. “Good. I have better things to do than worry.”

“I am glad you are happy, sir.”

He continued to eat. The food was a delight to his senses and he made a mental reminder to send his praise to the Harrier Higashizawa for lending him a cookbook.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten – Plug and Play

 

In the Creation Chamber, time had no meaning. Joshua could spend days in the middle of a mess of fabric or sheets of paper. The messier it got, the more creative he felt. His computer played a few songs he had been working on. They weren’t finished, but Joshua didn’t feel like messing with notes.

He held a pencil in his hand. The Noise hedgehog he’d made was sitting under the light on the drawing table as it slept. Bob-as Joshua called him-had grown a bit from useless Entry Fees. Joshua had fed him two last Game, and he had evolved into a prickly mess of rainbow pinions.

Joshua smiled at him before returning to his artwork. The pencil glided over the page with inexperienced lines. He wasn’t sure what he was drawing as he liked to work in abstract. It was somewhat like Sanae’s murals, but with sharper lines. He hummed along to his music as he drew.

The playlist on his computer stopped. Joshua grumbled. He’d forgotten to hit the repeat button and he was too lazy to cross the room to start the music over. In the silence he could hear Shibuya singing, and the artwork beneath his fingers began to take a smoother shape. He pulled a series of colored pencils from the drawer under the table.

“Bob, what color do you think I should start with?”

Opening one eye, the hedgehog squeaked.

“Pink. Good call,” he replied.

The pencil needed to be sharpened. Joshua dug around for his sharpener but it wasn’t in the drawer it should have been. He rose from the chair to look under stacks of paper and piles of music sheets on the floor. Fabric draped over the sewing table and beyond, and Joshua began mumbling as he tried to find the damn sharpener.

“Where are you?” He said, opening the door to the piano keys. The sharpener sat on the side.

Right. He must have left it there when penciling notes.

A knock on the door distracted him. Joshua knew it was either Megumi or Sanae, but he didn’t feel like holding a conversation. He returned to the drawing table before calling, “come in.”

Sanae stood in the doorway. He smiled and gave Joshua a small wave. “How goes it?”

“Fine.” Joshua sharpened the pink pencil and let the shavings fall to the mess below. “How long have I been in here?”

“Six days.” The barista stuffed his hands in his pants pockets as he surveyed the room. “You’ve been busy, eh?”

“You haven’t seen the worst of it. I actually cleaned a few hours ago. At least, I think it was a few hours ago. It could have been days.”

Sanae hummed and walked around the room. Joshua ignored him as he continued to color lines.

“I see Bob’s been gettin’ bigger.”

He looked up. “I’ve been feeding him.”

“I’ve never heard of a Noise bein’ a pet, but whatever makes ya happy,” Sanae said as he took a seat at the sewing machine. “What’s this?”

“A party dress. I made a few friends online and they invited me to a Composer party in the middle of the Higher Plane and the UG. Apparently there’s an entire city in the middle and they want me to go dancing before a round of karaoke.”

The barista hummed again. “It’s good yer makin’ friends, J.”

“I know. It’s weird,” he said, pausing in his work, “but it feels right.”

“It’ll get better wit’ time.”

Joshua smiled. “I have been thinking, Sanae.”

“Should I be worried?” He put one ankle over the knee of his opposite leg. “You get ideas and suddenly there’s somethin’ to fix.”

“Oh, you wound me, Sanae. It’s completely normal, I assure you.” Joshua turned in his chair to look at his Producer. “I want to decrease the amount of imagination required to play the Game. We have far too few Players these days and I want the Game to be more enjoyable for the Reapers.”

“Huh.” His Producer made a face of curiosity. “It might work. More Entrance Fees, more energy dispersed into Shibuya, and more points for yer Harriers. I think we can do it.”

Joshua returned his attention to coloring. “I have noticed an alarming trend, Sanae. The people of this city are beginning to grow stagnant. We need to take action before it worsens. By the way, I have arranged a trade with my sister region overseas. We are getting a new Game Master. She’s young, but they said her marks are high.”

“Who’er ya tradin’ fer her?”

“Honestly I can’t even remember his name. He’s the one with the glasses and the not so sunny disposition. It would be good for him. He’s completely disengaged from the city.”

“Kid,” Sanae started, and waited until Joshua turned, “yer doin’ well.”

“Thank you,” Joshua said with a smile. “In a week or two it’ll be one year. I’ve already received an invitation to my coronation as Composer. The High Council has asked for me to bring Megumi and you.”

Sanae nodded. “It’s protocol. The entire affair will take five minutes. They parade you in front of the council and they put a crown on your head. It’ll become part of your energy. If they ever need to tweak you-y’know, if ya do somethin’ wrong-they’ll do it through the crown.”

“Oh. Interesting. I don’t plan on doing anything stupid.” Joshua laughed. “Do they think I’m going to blow the city up?”

“Heh, that’d be stupid fer sure.”

Joshua shook his head. “I love the city too much to harm her. Now, if you don’t mind, I need a little time for myself. I’ll meet up with you later for some dinner.”

“Aight. See ya, kiddo.”

The positive energy of the Producer faded from the room and Joshua returned his full attention to the drawing he had made. There were splashes of pink and yellow, and the tiny hedgehog had begun walking over the lines.

“Bob, don’t.”

He looked up, beeped, and pawed at the paper. Tiny lines of static came from his claws and the drawing shifted as paw prints began to appear.

Joshua couldn’t help but laugh. He gathered the tiny Noise up and put him in his lap.

“Be good and I’ll give you something to eat later.”

Another beep and a purr as the hedgehog cuddled close to Joshua’s stomach.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been two years.

Joshua had been crowned the year previous and Shibuya had been overjoyed ever since. The year following his coronation had been one of the best in years, and the High Council sent Joshua praise. He had come into his own rather quickly, and the city was growing with every Game.

His Conductor had become less and less of a close friend. Over time, Megumi had begun to display signs of hero worship, and though Joshua begged him to stop, he didn’t. Sanae, however, was Joshua’s best friend and they often planned things for the Game together.

The Game went smoothly. The city grew. And Joshua couldn’t be happier.

He had given up on forming relationships with the living. Since he had made many friends in other regions he often went out with them to parties and small gatherings. Though he was still young, there were Composers around his age he could court. It was far more interesting than hanging with people in the RG.

Joshua had even started to keep a diary of his sexual conquests. Sanae called it his little black book.

The last line was several weeks ago, and Joshua had begun to get antsy. But tonight would be another gathering with another group of Composers, and he planned on adding to his list.

Bob had grown far too large to live in the apartment. Joshua sent him out into the world and he had a Player Erasure rate as high as the Harriers.

Everything was going well and continued to go well for several years.

Joshua did not grow older, but often he would take on the form of someone of his actual age just to feel as if he were alive.

It wasn’t until thirteen years in that he began to see his work crumble.

Shibuya grew stagnant as her people lost their creativity. Joshua tried to change the Game to lift the energy but to no avail. He reached out to his contacts and though they had ideas, none of them worked. There was far too much negativity and even the work of CAT couldn’t help.

Joshua felt his heart breaking. Everything he fought for was ruined and all he could think of doing was shutting down the Game. The High Council told him it wasn’t possible, but he could ascend and choose a new Composer to replace him.

But he didn’t want to admit defeat.

Eventually he could no longer ignore it.

“Megumi,” he said, standing in the Pad in his full form.

His Conductor bowed. “Yes, sir?”

“How would you like to play a game?”


End file.
